Shine the light on me
Dec. 20th, 2019 12:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynMy whining turned out to have a sound basis--the biopsy site on my cheek was actually infected, which is why it hurt so freaking much. I honestly don't know why, it could have been because of my intensely bad reactions to adhesives (I'll spare you the deets, but things got a little gross with the bandages I was trying to use, because putting nonstick pads on with the only tape that doesn't give me burnlike rashes made it really hard to see so I tried to use regular Band-Aids) or even just because that weird cold seemed to come back for a few days after the procedure. I was sneezing constantly on Wednesday afterward, I think I sneezed like 100 times at least, and maybe blowing my nose all the time did it. Who knows. I went out with minim_calibre for a Yuletide write-in Sunday, and couldn't stop whining at her, but she told me later that the area on my cheek seemed to grow quite a bit over the hours we were out. My eye was so puffed up on Tuesday that I didn't even look like myself, and the cheek was so swollen that I had an Elvis Presley lipcurl on the right side; it was so red and peely from the adhesive allergy that I didn't even want to go out.
They called to schedule the surgeries for the two spots that are bad (the one on my arm is okay, the back one and the cheek have to come off, though the cheek one is worse and has to be done with that goddamn Moh's sugery that caused me so much trouble last time) and I asked them about my face, and they had me send them a photo. Which was great, because every visit costs me so much money. I got a prescription within like a half hour for antibiotics--validation, I suppose. So now I'm diligently taking my meds and it was great--within an hour of taking the second pill, the swelling went down, and by the next day, the redness was lessening, and I was able to get some of the peeling skin off with a washcloth. Now I'm almost my normal ugly self.
It's good to know this wasn't my imagination, that there really was something wrong and I wasn't being a special snowflake. I come from a very hard-assed family, and so it always feels like I'm being bad by not just sucking up something terrible. But I'm utterly terrified of losing my vision, so when it was affecting my eye, I really started to feel panicky. When the bills come in, though, it's going to be rough.
It made finishing Yuletide dicey. The story was done, but I am one of those people who can't write good first drafts that require minimal fixing; my stories only come together with multiple editing rounds, and the first edit is always basically me completely rewriting, cutting out huge swathes of text and adding even more, but I honestly just felt like shit, and had had the cold too, plus I couldn't see well. I've never cut it so close to deadline. I definitely love being able to edit after we post, but...I'm not comfortable with the bus draft concept, I hate thinking there's something there that's not up to snuff. There's been so much getting in the way of me making this a better story--I think it's okay, but I want it to be great. That's basically going to be my weekend: working on really polishing this into something that resembles a gem. I don't really have the chance to give much in the way of gifts these days, so I like to put all my energy into Yuletide. ::hands::
I don't know if my reward will be a wonderful story, but I do feel like there's something to look forward to on Christmas Eve--John Mulaney has a kids musical special on Netflix that premieres on the 24th, and I'm just so excited for it. If you haven't seen the preview, you should watch this, it looks absolutely adorable.
minim_calibre for a Yuletide write-in Sunday, and couldn't stop whining at her, but she told me later that the area on my cheek seemed to grow quite a bit over the hours we were out. My eye was so puffed up on Tuesday that I didn't even look like myself, and the cheek was so swollen that I had an Elvis Presley lipcurl on the right side; it was so red and peely from the adhesive allergy that I didn't even want to go out.They called to schedule the surgeries for the two spots that are bad (the one on my arm is okay, the back one and the cheek have to come off, though the cheek one is worse and has to be done with that goddamn Moh's sugery that caused me so much trouble last time) and I asked them about my face, and they had me send them a photo. Which was great, because every visit costs me so much money. I got a prescription within like a half hour for antibiotics--validation, I suppose. So now I'm diligently taking my meds and it was great--within an hour of taking the second pill, the swelling went down, and by the next day, the redness was lessening, and I was able to get some of the peeling skin off with a washcloth. Now I'm almost my normal ugly self.
It's good to know this wasn't my imagination, that there really was something wrong and I wasn't being a special snowflake. I come from a very hard-assed family, and so it always feels like I'm being bad by not just sucking up something terrible. But I'm utterly terrified of losing my vision, so when it was affecting my eye, I really started to feel panicky. When the bills come in, though, it's going to be rough.
It made finishing Yuletide dicey. The story was done, but I am one of those people who can't write good first drafts that require minimal fixing; my stories only come together with multiple editing rounds, and the first edit is always basically me completely rewriting, cutting out huge swathes of text and adding even more, but I honestly just felt like shit, and had had the cold too, plus I couldn't see well. I've never cut it so close to deadline. I definitely love being able to edit after we post, but...I'm not comfortable with the bus draft concept, I hate thinking there's something there that's not up to snuff. There's been so much getting in the way of me making this a better story--I think it's okay, but I want it to be great. That's basically going to be my weekend: working on really polishing this into something that resembles a gem. I don't really have the chance to give much in the way of gifts these days, so I like to put all my energy into Yuletide. ::hands::
I don't know if my reward will be a wonderful story, but I do feel like there's something to look forward to on Christmas Eve--John Mulaney has a kids musical special on Netflix that premieres on the 24th, and I'm just so excited for it. If you haven't seen the preview, you should watch this, it looks absolutely adorable.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-20 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-20 10:31 pm (UTC)Sending much love.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-20 10:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-20 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-21 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-21 02:19 am (UTC)My brain decided that one of my stories needs an extra scene for ~emotional continuity. So far, I have no real plot for the new scene *headdesk emoji* We'll get there!
no subject
Date: 2019-12-21 02:23 am (UTC)I am very glad to hear you caught the infection quickly.
The John Mulaney Christmas special looks like it will be bizarre and wonderful. I have faith: he created a Les Mis parody set in a diner and it was awesome, so I'm pretty sure this will turn out well.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-22 06:39 pm (UTC)So I'm definitely happy that the antibiotics worked so rapidly for you.
Good luck whipping your Yuletide story into shape. I hope this weekend has been fruitful for that.
And gotta love John Mulaney. I'm looking forward to his special too.