But I always thought that I'd see you again

[gwyn]

Doing that icon meme, because I'm a physical and emotional wreck and wanted something else to focus on. @dine gave me these three, and these are the rules:

1. Comment on this entry with "I'm with you to the end of the line" and I'll pick 3 of your userpics/icons
2. Make an entry in your own journal (or just reply, if you prefer) and talk about the icons I chose.


 

I made this one and it's literally the only time I was able to get Photoshop Elements to do what I wanted by masking out the background of Liz Lemon being on a plane sitting next to Oprah. "I want to go to there" is something Liz was famous for saying on 30 Rock, it became her iconic line even though she only really used it once or maybe twice at the most. I think it perfectly encapsulates a desire to see or do something, and it made me laugh.



This was an icon I saw on someone else's journal and asked agentxpendable if I could use it--The Professionals has always been my once and future fandom, and I'm a huge tea fanatic, so Doyle, Bodie, and Tommy with their teacups was perfect for me. The text perfectly captures the three of them.



This one I made because the xkcd comic about tautologies was so hilarious to me, and I just thought this was so perfect as both a meta joke about Fight Club's stupid rules but also about this device itself. /word nerd

I'm a little bummed because I will probably have to lose some of these in the near future, since my paid account is expiring soon and I just can't really afford it right now. I imagine a lot of us are in that boat. I want to support DW but things are tough.

In pandemic news, I started coughing last week, and had a bad headache the night before. I don't have a fever, just an occasionally stuffy nose, and the worst of the cough is gone and now it's just the occasional dry one, but for a few days I had that really bad taste in the back of my throat that I always get with bronchitis, that gross phlegmy taste. So I have no idea if I could be mildly infected, or if this is seasonal reactions, or what, and testing is not really a thing unless you're seriously symptomatic and need care. I've been in the house for days, not even going for walks, only going out to get the curbside delivery of cat food and litter my pet store offers. (No, chewy is not an option for me, as they don't carry a lot of what I want and the ones they do are more expensive and often out of stock.)

I mean, if I had a mild case, and I could build immunity, that'd be ideal, right? But who the fuck knows, since this is a garbage fire of a country and since the people in charge hate our governor and we're both a blue state and one that doesn't have many electoral votes, we get nothin', so. I heard they're setting up a testing tent near me, but they emphasize it's gonna be for people with serious symptoms on certain plans. I would love to have a mask so I could at least venture out a bit for a walk, but I have no fabric, no hair ties or rubber bands, and absolute zero skills for making one. I have a couple of those paper ones from when I was taking care of my sister, but the bands are all disintegrated and I don't think they can be washed, so even if I can dig up some rubber bands or something, they'd be gone after one use. 

Still. @minim_calibre is bringing me some coveted flour this weekend on a run to deliver to her folks, and some other staples, and I hope I can figure out some things to do with them so I can continue to stay the fuck home. So I will be okay for a little while longer, and will also keep trying to get some kind of fuller grocery delivery. Which is proving to be frustrating but... Also am rationing toilet paper, which is hard when one of your meds is a diuretic. 

Mostly, though, I'm so lonely. I'm a hermit by nature, but it's very different being home alone 24/7 and not seeing or speaking to people when you're forced into that. I think a lot of us will come out of this really unhinged. I'm not even a hugger but I want to hug the people I talk to on zoom so fucking bad. I want to just sit on the couch with min and watch stupid movies where people have questionable hair and clothing, especially CEvans. 

We've had our stay at home order extended to May 4th. It seems like the numbers are improving, and we've been at this a little longer than many places, so I'm trying to be hopeful. That's all I've got, though. 

Comments

[ghost_lingering]

If you dm me or e-mail me (ghost.lingering@gmail.com) your address I can mail you some more disposable face masks. One of my mom's old colleagues had purchased a bunch months ago (she's Chinese and often travels back to China, so she was tuned into what was going on earlier than most people) and when NYC got bad she mailed me some. But I have a couple of cloth masks I can use, so I'd love to get the disposable ones to people who can get use out of them!

[gwyn]

That is super kind of you!! I got one cloth mask from a friend yesterday, haven't washed it yet, but I might take you up on that offer. Yeah, I think some people were definitely smarter than the rest of us--I was thinking it would be like SARS, and that it would essentially be stopped in its tracks elsewhere, but of course, our public health system here is nonexistent, so I don't know why I had faith it would peter out like that. In hindsight, I'm a dumbass.

[dine]

thank you for playing! that Pros icon is totally the best - just right for the entire show/fandom

I feel you on the isolation - I'm still venturing out a couple times a week, mostly to drive around for 20-30 minutes for a change of scenery; but aside from the occasional drive-thru encounter, I'm not seeing people. I even cancelled coffee at my place with sorchar because it started to feel just too dangerous. I sure hope that sensation evaporates once this is over

[gwyn]

If I wasn't so wigged about getting gas, I probably would go out somewhere, just to break the tedium, but then, so many other people are thinking the same thing, and they're still clogging the parks and trails around here. The dude runners are the worst, too, so if I get out of my car there's always some dude runner who runs right into you. And I would like to go pick up some food, just something else besides this same stuff I keep eating and am tired of my limited cooking reperetoire.

[kore]

Yeah, Washington state was repeatedly suing to block Trump's bizarre executive orders (including the very first Muslim travel ban) so I have no doubt he'd love to see us die out. California too. And he switched his allegiance to Florida, so New York can burn too. Chicago doesn't seem to be getting a lot of help either.

I think what might help us is in spite of all the people rushing to move here, Seattle's still nowhere near as dense as NY or LA. People seem to be obeying the stay at home orders so far and Inslee seems to be doing a good job. It still feels precarious as all hell, though, and I'm really really worried about November. The Republicans obviously have no intention of letting people vote by mail, and I can't blame people if when the choice is between voting or risking their lives, they stay home. (And fucking Bernie Sanders STILL HASN'T DROPPED OUT.)

[gwyn]

I mean, in a better world, Loose Cannon Joe and Fucking Bernie would drop out because they're old farts, cede the grab to get the nomination to someone like (and yeah, I can't believe I'm saying this, because I loathe him, but he has proven to step up) Cuomo or Inslee or Whitmer or Newsome, just one of the people who are a) younger and won't die as soon as they get this or b) someone who's proven to be doing something effective and fucking leading. But the Democratic party is a bunch of fucking idiots in thrall to these two assholes. Or you know, the one person we KNOW ALREADY has plans for this and is the best possible leader--Senator Warren. I'm trying though just to focus on the here and now and getting through it. It's gonna be a long spring and summer.

[kore]

Or you know, the one person we KNOW ALREADY has plans for this and is the best possible leader--Senator Warren.

There was ONE PERSON with a plan for a pandemic! One! It was not one of the people with a dick! Gahhh. Like, people will apparently actually rather die than elect a woman? (I am BEYOND furious at fucking Bernie Sanders. DROP THE FUCK OUT ALREADY. Biden is a horrible mess, but I'm hoping he picks a young smart female Veep.)

I'm trying though just to focus on the here and now and getting through it. It's gonna be a long spring and summer.

Yeah, meanwhile Trumpty Dumpty is all "It would be so lovely if people could worship for Easter!" (evangelical vote) "We need to open the NFL back up!" (NASCAR type vote) He's apparently going to wipe out his base, and then is it going to spread to the rest of us who aren't deranged? IDK.

[mackiemesser]

I'm very grateful that my neighborhood is good for walking in and everyone who's out is being great about switching to the street or waiting in driveways so we don't double up when I'm out walking Ollie. He just doesn't understand why no one will come over to pet him now, or why he can't go say hi to the other dogs.

Yeah, allergy season is making this a lot harder: is that cough allergy and stress bringing up the asthma or is it impending death?!?!?!?

Starting next week they're having em come into work a couple of days each week through the end of the month. Which will be good for the boredom and extreme hermiting, but I'm finding myself more anxious about those days than when I was just coming in or regular days.
But no body knows what the fuck is happening day by day.

My mm and I have experimented with making some very amateur masks and we think we've got it figured out. A lot of people here are ging with bandanas. Coz it's the freaking Southwest and we all have at least a couple of them for yard work and other stuff.

I am having a little bit of fun at the idea of how all the masks are going to fuck with surveillance tech.

[gwyn]

Oh man, I hope everything goes okay at work. I think being anxious is very understandable about that. Are they able to to give you things like sanitizer and such?

We just passed, at the end of our session and then the governor signed it even in the midst of all the pandemic shit, facial recognition surveillance software. It was sponsored by my local rep, who was a former Microsoftie, so it surprised me that he did. But I think it's important, especially now. And of course, people of color can't really go into stores wearing masks and expect to come out okay. So I don't know how all this mask wearing is really going to shake out here.

[mackiemesser]

I'm very fortunate that my mom is a ceramicist so she had a partial box of gloves in her studio (for mixing glaze chemicals) that I can use. But those will probably run out soon, as I still am doing grocery runs and the like. Work has a few pairs of gloves, some wipes and some sanitizer, but most of the County's resources are going - rightly - to our health department and similar organizations. I also have the equivalent of a perfume allergy to most sanitizers, so I'm stuck with scouring health food stores and the like for Dr. Bronner's and the EO/EveryOne brands which have over 60% alcohol but don't give me vile headaches/make me feel sick.
It's sooo much fun that I can't escape that smell these days...

Yeah, I have seen quite a number of comments online from POC about the mask issue. One could be absurdly optimistic and hope this could be a social leveler, but it's more likely to be a shitshow that puts POC more at risk for contracting the virus as they forgo a mask in favor of, oh I don't know, not getting shot.
Yay.

And once it gets hot - which is gonna be soon here - wearing a mask its going to get real uncomfortable real fast. The bonus is that the heat will keep people in, as well, but it's still gonna suck. There is a certain amount of people here who wear masks regularly anyway, because of dust and pollen, and all the construction guys that don't bother to take the masks off when they're on a break, but what's normal in a desert town will be pretty odd in other places, I'll bet.

[geckoholic]

I hope it's really just a mild case, so you can build immunity and not get hit in the future, and that you'll be fine and ready to out again (as much as that's possible anywhere right now) very soon!

And: I'm with you to the end of the line!!

[gwyn]

Yeah, the only other symptom I seem to have is fatigue--but is it my regular ennui, or related to the cough? Who knows! And I probably never will, really!

How about these:



(God, I miss Deb. DOn't miss the show, but miss her.)

[beck_liz]

I'm a hermit by nature, but it's very different being home alone 24/7 and not seeing or speaking to people when you're forced into that.

Yup yup yup. I am also very much a hermit/homebody, so while I'm probably doing better than many, I do find myself actually missing going into the office. Sometimes. Occasionally. I can't even imagine how the folks who are used to going out socially on a regular basis are handling it.

Anyway, I hope your Zoom and other interactions continue to help soothe at least some of that, and that you're not sick, or at least not seriously so. (I actually found myself grateful for a high pollen warning this morning, since it meant my sniffles and slightly scratchy throat had a cause.)

[gwyn]

I actually got to see two people in person this weekend, far apart and one wearing a mask, but just being able to talk to them was...very emotional. I felt like crying. And we had a virtual bash with the local fan gang, so it was good to see people's faces.