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Somehow, every time I make space to finish my WIP or read a new book (eeee, I am finally reading things I got years ago and have never been able to tackle and I am excited!), I manage to manifest new work. Every single time. And of course, I cannot use this manifesting power for anything like money, which I am in desperate need of because I fucked up my taxes big time this year and things are gonna be pretty dire, plus my IRA and such are in the toilet because of the fuckwads in power. So I do need the work (I actually had to say no to a book because of another project, but I was glad to be able to because it sounded like extremely hard work since all the YA fantasy I get from them is utter garbage and I haaaate working on YA), but I would also like a little time to do fun things, and the deadlines I usually have are ridiculous.
I feel like I am kinda semi-retired; I don't want to take on as much work as I used to and that's fine for me. But now...with the disasters in the thing that sadly rules our lives, the stock market, and the threats to Medicare and Social Security, as well as the cancer treatment, I constantly doubt myself and take work on I shouldn't necessarily. Plus I have to get a new roof. So that's (ha) literally hanging over my head. I suppose I will just keep shoving on.
Speaking of work, I had a fun thing happen a couple months ago. I never go to LinkedIn, I don't care about it at all, but I had read of a setting change that I did not like, so I went in one night to reset things, and it seemed to be perfect timing because there was a direct message from someone sent a few hours before I logged in. I don't get notifications so I would never have seen it otherwise. She was a reader of the magazine I used to work for till they ditched me in '23, and had been a copyeditor for years in different publications, and so she started by complimenting me on my work for them for all that time (like, it wasn't insincere at all, she really did pay attention to how well edited it was and I loved that because I too pay attention to mastheads and stuff) and asking if she might be able to find out a little bit about the job listing for an editor to work on the magazine.
I'd known that the publisher, J, had lost his editor (he'd asked me a few times to be more of a managing editor type, but I never wanted to) to a full time job, and I was stepping in that month to help him get the next issue out, but I hadn't realized he'd posted the job on LinkedIn--apparently you can list a job for free for three days, and he was deluged with applications even though it's just a part time freelancer type gig, you're not really employed by them per se. Anyway, I wrote her back and said I'd be happy to to tell her anything, and the more we talked, the more I realized she would be absolutely perfect for the role, that she couldn't be more like me in the way she approached copyediting and proofreading, and she personally was a musician as well and it's a music magazine, so she's a subject matter expert.
I didn't know if my making a rec for her would help, but J seemed interested and happy to have something like that, and out of the four or so candidates he'd talked to with the best credentials, the personal rec from me helped seal the deal and I think he knew that yeah, she couldn't have been more perfect. So she got the job, and sent me a sweet gift after even though I told her she shouldn't. I miss the magazine, but I guess I don't miss the flakiness of J and the designer, both men (insert eye roll here) who I had to treat like I was herding cats sometimes, but you know, editing stuff about the history of sunburst Fenders or the history of Prince's fave guitar were kind of awesome. I do miss that. But I told her if she ever needed any backup, I'm always around and happy to help and since I sort of created some of the style guide, it's not like I don't know the ins and outs. I guess as long as I'm healthy anyway.
The guy who leads our multiple myeloma support group had some bad health stuff recently, and was going through a pretty grueling treatment to try to get him back to remission. But he told us today that he is in hospice right now, and so things are ending for him in his efforts against it. Every time we get an announcement that someone from the group, past or present, has died, it's like a short sharp shock that this thing is just...really fucking awful. There is no "cure" per se, just remissions, and it always comes back, and some people go through multiple treatments and get into remissions. Every time I've told someone I have this, they go "I know so and so has it and they've had it for 11 years and they're fine" and I'm like, you don't know what getting to fine is really like. But people are so casual about it, because most of us in treatment or remission look fairly normal. Not like movie cliche patients.
Anyways, that's made me ridiculously sad. I have treatment this week and I'll find out what my oncologist thinks about where we are. My fatigue has been through the roof, I'm wiped out all the time. I know that's partly why I'm on the fence about Worldcon, just because...what am I going to be like in August? I never know, this whole two years has been such a fucking weirdass roller coaster. Ugh, sorry to be maudlin. I do get this way sometimes.
I feel like I am kinda semi-retired; I don't want to take on as much work as I used to and that's fine for me. But now...with the disasters in the thing that sadly rules our lives, the stock market, and the threats to Medicare and Social Security, as well as the cancer treatment, I constantly doubt myself and take work on I shouldn't necessarily. Plus I have to get a new roof. So that's (ha) literally hanging over my head. I suppose I will just keep shoving on.
Speaking of work, I had a fun thing happen a couple months ago. I never go to LinkedIn, I don't care about it at all, but I had read of a setting change that I did not like, so I went in one night to reset things, and it seemed to be perfect timing because there was a direct message from someone sent a few hours before I logged in. I don't get notifications so I would never have seen it otherwise. She was a reader of the magazine I used to work for till they ditched me in '23, and had been a copyeditor for years in different publications, and so she started by complimenting me on my work for them for all that time (like, it wasn't insincere at all, she really did pay attention to how well edited it was and I loved that because I too pay attention to mastheads and stuff) and asking if she might be able to find out a little bit about the job listing for an editor to work on the magazine.
I'd known that the publisher, J, had lost his editor (he'd asked me a few times to be more of a managing editor type, but I never wanted to) to a full time job, and I was stepping in that month to help him get the next issue out, but I hadn't realized he'd posted the job on LinkedIn--apparently you can list a job for free for three days, and he was deluged with applications even though it's just a part time freelancer type gig, you're not really employed by them per se. Anyway, I wrote her back and said I'd be happy to to tell her anything, and the more we talked, the more I realized she would be absolutely perfect for the role, that she couldn't be more like me in the way she approached copyediting and proofreading, and she personally was a musician as well and it's a music magazine, so she's a subject matter expert.
I didn't know if my making a rec for her would help, but J seemed interested and happy to have something like that, and out of the four or so candidates he'd talked to with the best credentials, the personal rec from me helped seal the deal and I think he knew that yeah, she couldn't have been more perfect. So she got the job, and sent me a sweet gift after even though I told her she shouldn't. I miss the magazine, but I guess I don't miss the flakiness of J and the designer, both men (insert eye roll here) who I had to treat like I was herding cats sometimes, but you know, editing stuff about the history of sunburst Fenders or the history of Prince's fave guitar were kind of awesome. I do miss that. But I told her if she ever needed any backup, I'm always around and happy to help and since I sort of created some of the style guide, it's not like I don't know the ins and outs. I guess as long as I'm healthy anyway.
The guy who leads our multiple myeloma support group had some bad health stuff recently, and was going through a pretty grueling treatment to try to get him back to remission. But he told us today that he is in hospice right now, and so things are ending for him in his efforts against it. Every time we get an announcement that someone from the group, past or present, has died, it's like a short sharp shock that this thing is just...really fucking awful. There is no "cure" per se, just remissions, and it always comes back, and some people go through multiple treatments and get into remissions. Every time I've told someone I have this, they go "I know so and so has it and they've had it for 11 years and they're fine" and I'm like, you don't know what getting to fine is really like. But people are so casual about it, because most of us in treatment or remission look fairly normal. Not like movie cliche patients.
Anyways, that's made me ridiculously sad. I have treatment this week and I'll find out what my oncologist thinks about where we are. My fatigue has been through the roof, I'm wiped out all the time. I know that's partly why I'm on the fence about Worldcon, just because...what am I going to be like in August? I never know, this whole two years has been such a fucking weirdass roller coaster. Ugh, sorry to be maudlin. I do get this way sometimes.
