DVD Commentary track meme 3
Apr. 17th, 2015 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynToday is the first of two for ranalore, this one for Dark Approach : The hospital scene after Bucky comes in, which kills me every time I read it.
So, I wasn't sure if you meant the entire hospital scene or just the stuff with Steve and Bucky, but I'll talk about the entire thing just in case. I knew from the start, even though the process of writing such a long fic took me in different directions many times over the course of the months I worked on it, that I wanted to have a scene where Bucky is being sniper boyfriend keeping tabs on Steve and saving his life from a distance, and I had the whole scene with Thor coming in and thinking Bucky's a threat to Steve and hitting him with lightning and they would fall together, already mapped out. And that that would be the final catalyst to get Bucky back to Steve--even if he's not emotionally there, he's physically there.
And I really wanted Steve to just completely fall to pieces over it, and have his friends be the ones to shore him up--I think that's what's often missing in a lot of what I read, that Steve needs people helping him with his shit just as much as Bucky does. Seeing Bucky there really does him in, he's both happier than he's ever been and maybe more miserable than he's ever been, because all his guilt and sense of failure is hitting him hard, seeing Bucky like that. And even though Bucky chose to come back to Steve for help, that wasn't exactly how he wanted to make himself known and hospitals + Bucky are a really bad combo, so he's panicked, needs to escape. Which I think would make Steve just feel all the worse about everything, even though he knows why Bucky came in. It's a bit over halfway through the story, so things have to change at that point, and even though Bucky's kind of fighting it, he knows that the tough love Steve's giving him is right.
And of course, everyone else is worried--about Steve, about Bucky being a danger to him, and so on--but they see how things are with Steve and they know they need to help him, whatever their feelings about the Winter Soldier are. I think Steve is often portrayed as oblivious to what would help Bucky get better, like he's incapable of getting it, and I wanted him to be not oblivious, but helpless, because he has so much guilt and an overwhelming sense of responsibility for what happened to Bucky that he doesn't know what steps to take and he's feeling his way there. In the hospital, they are both suddenly helpless--Bucky because he's been in cardiac arrest and pretty much dead for a few minutes on top of the terrible withdrawal from the drugs Hydra had him on, and Steve because he can't dig himself out from under the mountain of guilt he's buried in. They are both injured there, in different ways.
And I really wanted to have Sam and Tony see that, and understand that, and try to figure out how they can help, even though they both feel pretty inadequate there too. I really wanted that section afterward to be from Sam's point of view, because he's seeing the shift in Steve and Bucky's relationship there, and he gets it more than pretty much anyone else could.
ranalore, this one for Dark Approach : The hospital scene after Bucky comes in, which kills me every time I read it.So, I wasn't sure if you meant the entire hospital scene or just the stuff with Steve and Bucky, but I'll talk about the entire thing just in case. I knew from the start, even though the process of writing such a long fic took me in different directions many times over the course of the months I worked on it, that I wanted to have a scene where Bucky is being sniper boyfriend keeping tabs on Steve and saving his life from a distance, and I had the whole scene with Thor coming in and thinking Bucky's a threat to Steve and hitting him with lightning and they would fall together, already mapped out. And that that would be the final catalyst to get Bucky back to Steve--even if he's not emotionally there, he's physically there.
And I really wanted Steve to just completely fall to pieces over it, and have his friends be the ones to shore him up--I think that's what's often missing in a lot of what I read, that Steve needs people helping him with his shit just as much as Bucky does. Seeing Bucky there really does him in, he's both happier than he's ever been and maybe more miserable than he's ever been, because all his guilt and sense of failure is hitting him hard, seeing Bucky like that. And even though Bucky chose to come back to Steve for help, that wasn't exactly how he wanted to make himself known and hospitals + Bucky are a really bad combo, so he's panicked, needs to escape. Which I think would make Steve just feel all the worse about everything, even though he knows why Bucky came in. It's a bit over halfway through the story, so things have to change at that point, and even though Bucky's kind of fighting it, he knows that the tough love Steve's giving him is right.
And of course, everyone else is worried--about Steve, about Bucky being a danger to him, and so on--but they see how things are with Steve and they know they need to help him, whatever their feelings about the Winter Soldier are. I think Steve is often portrayed as oblivious to what would help Bucky get better, like he's incapable of getting it, and I wanted him to be not oblivious, but helpless, because he has so much guilt and an overwhelming sense of responsibility for what happened to Bucky that he doesn't know what steps to take and he's feeling his way there. In the hospital, they are both suddenly helpless--Bucky because he's been in cardiac arrest and pretty much dead for a few minutes on top of the terrible withdrawal from the drugs Hydra had him on, and Steve because he can't dig himself out from under the mountain of guilt he's buried in. They are both injured there, in different ways.
And I really wanted to have Sam and Tony see that, and understand that, and try to figure out how they can help, even though they both feel pretty inadequate there too. I really wanted that section afterward to be from Sam's point of view, because he's seeing the shift in Steve and Bucky's relationship there, and he gets it more than pretty much anyone else could.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-17 11:17 pm (UTC)I'm also so glad you included commentary on the scene with Sam and Tony, though I didn't ask for that part because I was worried the part with Steve and Bucky was already so long, but basically, this story is one of the ones in which I actually like Tony and can see what people do like in him. This scene in particular is one in which he shines, and I think he's doing a good thing here in a really subtle way, kind of making sure Sam is okay when he knows that Sam and Steve are in a relationship but he also knows, in a way I don't think anyone else really gets because they didn't live Howard's Steve-worship with him, exactly how much Steve and Bucky are wound up in each other, so he's sort of distracting Sam in case there are twinges. I mean, Sam's very grounded and did go into that relationship with his eyes wide open, but for all Tony knows the distracting is very necessary. Plus, I kind of adore Tony's unsubtle appreciation of Bucky's hotness, and the recognition of the ridiculousness of the triumvirate of Steve's, Bucky's, and Sam's eyelashes. I mean, seriously. It's a true statement, and like that part was written just for me.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-21 05:16 am (UTC)Yeah, you know, it's funny how much of being a caretaker informs my modern day Steve--I guess because that was such a big part of my own life for so long, and I know what it's like to have that helplessness and guilt. I like a moderately functional Bucky, but he's still going to need that in his life--someone to give him the gentle and tough love depending on when he needs it. Someone who knows him that well.
Ugh, they have so thoroughly taken over my soul.