Walk to the sound of my own drum

[gwyn]

I don't know why I waste time writing meta, it never seems worth the effort, but I wrote a thing on Tumblr about Bucky and blinking and how it's yet another physical indicator of his internal thought processes in the bank vault scene of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. If you're inclined to read that sort of thing, as Mr. Sam Wilson might say. I knew that minor in speech communication would be useful someday, too bad it's just for a Tumblr post. I always feel like I'm talking into a void, both because few people are journaling these days and nothing ever really goes anywhere on Tumblr, and yet I continue to do it.

Speaking of Sam Wilson, I hear his birthday is the 23rd. I'm writing a sam hill story (Sam/Maria), I think, in honor of that, but I'm floundering past the initial premise of him asking her out. If you have any prompts you'd be interested in, let me know. I can't promise I'll use it, but I might!

The repairs on the south wall of my house are done. It looks like a new house if you only look at that wall. So that was thousands and thousands of dollars I hadn't planned on spending. Yay. I wish so much that that was money I could have used to help people, it seems a lot of people I know are going through really rough times, and I would so much rather have spent it on them. But when it's completely rotten and falling apart, you can't keep ignoring it the way I have for the past few years.

And that's the only updating I have.

Comments

[dine]

I really like your thinky thoughts! it's so great what different people pick up when watching a scene.

[gwyn]

I was surprised I hadn't seen anything about it before.

[ratcreature]

What an interesting detail to pick up on. And I'm glad you linked it here too. I'd never found the meta on Tumblr.

[kore]

Me neither -- I know a lot of people are doing meta on Tumblr nowadays, but it's so hard for me to find, so it's great when people link or xpost.

[gwyn]

A lot of it depends on your follow list, I've found. A lot of the people I follow reblog tons of meta, so I've seen the majority of posts about Cap2 out there. But if I didn't follow probably quite a few people who don't follow me back (I know that's a hot button for people), I might not see as much. And of course, if people don't tag for meta, you might not see it.

[ratcreature]

I don't care about mutual following or anything like that, but with Tumblr I tend to miss posts even from people I follow because between the fast pace and the repeated reblogs I often forget how far back I've been on my dash previously, so I click back a bit, but not necessarily to where I was last, like I do on DW or LJ. And discussion is so hard to read and attribute that I always just scroll past posts with "conversation" because I just can't tell who said what in reaction to what.

[kore]

Yeah, that's me too. And actually since they rediddled the conversation and who-said-what look now it's more confusing for me than it was. //feels super old

[kore]

That was amazing meta -- I'm glad you linked it here, because I never log into Tumblr anymore, so I wouldn't have seen it. Do you link your other Tumblr posts here? I thought I'd seen some xposting in the past?

Sam/Maria is awesome! //tries to think of prompts

....SAM HILL, I JUST GOT THAT. HEH.

[gwyn]

I've mentioned some of my other meta here, but hardly anyone ever has checked it out. This one seems to be getting a lot of notes (the most I've ever had on any post), I suppose because we're in a drought of Winter Soldier meta, everything either having been discussed or waiting for Cap3. I'm not sure if my earlier posts were tagged as meta, but I should go back and look. I think if you add/archive to someone's tumblr address, it brings up past posts, but I find it difficult to look through, for sure.

I think…sam hill is the best ship name in existence. I really do.

[kore]

SAM HILL. THAT IS AWESOME.

I went on Tumblr to make sure I was following you!.....then I reblogged a shitload of stuff because I am resting in bed. //facepalm Oh well, I am still enjoying being in the little post-TWS bubble.

[gwyn]

You know, I do this thing where I borrow trouble--I start planning for bad stuff to happen long before there's any reason to do so. And I've already started being sad about the people who are going to leave/are leaving the fandom, or haven't stayed in the bubble with us. I don't know why I do this. I should just enjoy what's happening now instead of worrying about the future.

[kore]

Okay wait HAVE ACTUAL PROMPT -- at the end of TWS Maria is getting a job interview for SI, right? From what I can see she's hooked up to a lie detector type thing. And people have said Maria has COO written all over her. And then there's fanon that since Sam's wings got ripped to shreds, Tony wanted to redesign them for him -- actually, Sam DOES have new wings in stupid Giant Robot movie, right? the New Avengers training thing is even an old SI warehouse. So Tony must've repaired them, or, knowing Tony, completely redone them, and if Sam and Maria are both part of the new Stark-backed Avengers, maybe they could run each into each other at the training facility, or Tony's tower, etc. I can just imagine Maria being all grumbly about Tony's research draining other parts of the company (because you KNOW Tony blows every single research budget he has) and Tony going "Yeah, but look what I can make," and taking her to see Sam fly. http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/marvelcinematicuniverse/images/e/e1/Untitled-0.png/revision/latest?cb=20150831000101

....anyway that wasn't terribly coherent, but if you want to use any part of it, go for it!

[gwyn]

Oh! I like this!! A lot!! I can work with this--thank you! I wanted it to be a little more than just him thinking about asking her out, and then asking her out. That felt a little thin.

[kore]

YESSSSS I WAS ABLE TO HELP //punches air

I think nothing will top Music to Brood Over Your Lost Sergeant By as my finest moment, tho.

[ranalore]

What a cool detail to notice! I remember a bit about that connection between blinking and different types of thought and memory access from some neuro research I did as a result of having a neuro disorder that it took a while to get diagnosed and just generally feeling it's good to be informed about my conditions. Anyway, once again I am in awe of SebStan and his acting ability. Even if he didn't know the connection specifically, the way his blinking connected Bucky's interest/mental presence to what was happening around him was one of the many, many little details that sold a character with so little dialogue and so little screentime (and then so little of it with his face showing), but that even really attentive viewers (like fans) wouldn't consciously pick up on until the umpteenth meticulous rewatch. I also feel like the way the blinking ties to Pierce's speech specifically shows that even when Bucky doesn't consciously remember, he's rebelling against the programming. It's still my headcanon that's a trait he encouraged in baby!Natasha. I think maybe that's what the "been out of cryo too long" comment was all about.

I can't cognitively parse Tumblr, so I only ever go there when given a specific link like this. That's one of my main gripes with the site; I find it really, really inaccessible for my particular set of issues.

[kore]

It's still my headcanon that's a trait he encouraged in baby!Natasha

.....YES

[gwyn]

If it's not too rude, would you be willing to talk about the neuro research? I"m always interested in that sort of thing, but if it's something you'd rather keep private, I understand. I'm a failed psychologist--that was where I initially wanted to go, especially in working with autistic kids, but I realized partway through that I was never going to be able to handle the maths portions of the program.

I don't much like Tumblr, myself, but that's where the fandom is, so… and it's a good place for me to rest my eyes when I'm working, I'll do about a chapter or ten pages, then look at my tumblr dash and pretty pics, and then go back to text.

[devilc]

Grrrl, I have been hemoraging money, too, so I get how you feel.

[monanotlisa]

Sam/Maria! How about something surrounding both their ideas of service, what is different and what is the same?

[gwyn]

Hmmm…that's an interesting concept. I think I might have a hook, but this would probably also fit in nicely with that.

[st_aurafina]

I love meta, and I'd totally have missed this because ~tumblr. So hard to navigate. I love anything that explores the neurology of what they've done to Bucky, and yeah, that makes so much sense - his mind is starting to run bits and pieces of memory, and he's trying to process and make sense of it, and wow, I wonder how much of that is triggered just by seeing Steve. It almost makes me wish he hadn't been wearing those goggles because we'd have a bit more data on the blinking before he sees Steve up close on the bridge.

I mean, all I can do here is make flaily hands while I sit in a bathtub filled with the crystalline tears I’ve cried for Bucky.

A ha ha omg yes. *weeps*

(Can I link to that post on comicstore_news?)

[gwyn]

I write meta once in a while, but I don't have enough followers to make it go anywhere--and a lot of my followers are old friends who do not care about Cap stuff. Then I'll see a post months later that's basically the same thing, and it'll have 5,000 notes. Sigh.

I mean, all I can do here is make flaily hands while I sit in a bathtub filled with the crystalline tears I’ve cried for Bucky.

A ha ha omg yes. *weeps*

Come splash around in the overflowing tub with me. It's so salty!

Yeah, I'd be flattered if you wanted to link to the post! Link away! Yay! Thank you, that's really kind.

[kore]

I write meta once in a while, but I don't have enough followers to make it go anywhere--and a lot of my followers are old friends who do not care about Cap stuff. Then I'll see a post months later that's basically the same thing, and it'll have 5,000 notes. Sigh.

One of the MANY things that drives me nuts about Tumblr, yeah.

[kore]

Haha yeah, I mean just today, I was reintroduced to THIS!

http://fyeahbuckysteve.tumblr.com/post/87722610656/moondaiz-there-is-a-tavern-in-the-town-and

AUGH.

[geckoholic]

I, for one, think meta like that is a GREAT use of your time. Tabbed it, excited to read. :D

Ohh, Sam/Maria! \o/ I hope you do get around to writing them, I love that ship.

[gwyn]

I read your story today, yay! I was starting to feel hopeless about Sam/Maria as the primary focus of any story, it seemed like they were only one of a thousand in most fics. It's depressing. But I suppose it's definitely a ship that qualifies for rare pairs, isn't it?

[geckoholic]

I did read it, and it was GREAT. Also ouch. Which adds to the great. Welp.

Oh, yay! :D Short little thing, I gotta get around to writing them something proper one of these days. But. Yup. Maria/Sam and Trip/Skye are the ships where I don't even get excited about updates in the rss feed anymore, cause it's just side pairing 95% of the time anyway. Sigh. And I'd absolutely call it a rareship, yep.

[kore]

DUUDE THAT'S GOT NEARLY 2K NOTES BY NOW. GO YOU!

[gwyn]

I know, I just...what. It's a post about BLINKING. It's got to be that it's a slow news day or something, that meta about the movie is slow enough that people will reblog it. I know if a couple people I know who are really popular hadn't reblogged it it probably wouldn't have gone anywhere, but still. I wasn't expecting that. Guess I'm glad I didn't talk myself out of it?

[sperrywink]

I really enjoyed your meta. Thanks for sharing it here.

Owning a house is such a money sink. Ugh.

[batwrangler.livejournal.com]

:waves from across the desolate internet:

(Before it gets dark I have to hose out Shine's bed since tonight was apparently *her* turn for making a mess in her crate.)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh god, was it terrible? I hope not.

I had some bad news today--one of my foster dogs, who was adopted by my neighbors so I got to see him from time to time, and he was the most adorable Yorkie ever, died. I knew he was older, but...he was so happy, and so loved, and being cared for so well, that it was a sad shock. It's so rare, though, that I ever know what happens to them afterward, so I at least had that to hold on to.

[destina.livejournal.com]

Loved that post about the blinking. I wouldn't put it past Sebastian Stan to have researched that himself. And yay that the house wall is done!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Someone reblogged it with a snide little comment about lol of course it wasn't on purpose, and I just thought, well, hey, asshole, guess what? They teach that kind of stuff in acting classes. They don't necessarily cite studies and talk about blinking rates indicating internal states, but they do teach body language stuff, and how to show emotional turmoil in your face, and all kinds of stuff like that. And I think about what Sebastian said about reading that scene as him being like a person with Alzheimer's, and yeah, I wouldn't put it past Sebastian to have done that at all. He's an exceptionally good face actor, one of those actors who has hundreds of little microexpressions, and he seems to be very much in control of his facial movements when he's acting. Every time I watch that movie, I admire him more and more. He inhabited that role so completely that I think the blinking stuff is largely a response *from* him, as that character.

In conclusion, Sebastian fucking Stan. Kid is really really good.