Dec. 24th, 2010

gwyn: (yuletide lights)
Things with Dad are pretty bad. His tremors are really bad, and he's been angry and abusive to the nurses and me when he wakes up, because he's disoriented and confused. He wouldn't let me feed him the oatmeal they brought, so he burned his chest when he slopped it all over himself. I mean an actual burn. He's in constant pain, so he's just mean, and they had to tie his hands down to keep him from pulling everything out, and then he became abusive to all of us about that.

I'm out in the hall, listening to a family who just lost their dad try to call folks. I am so far past misery I don't even care that I'm in pain myself and feel like the progress I've made on my back is now all gone. This is feeling so much like my mom and my sister. I don't think he's going to get better, and am pretty sure it's going downhill from here.

I hope I can at least read my story and give feedback to my author tomorrow. Yuletide author, if you read this, I hope I won't neglect you, but just in case, thank you ahead of time for giving me something to look forward to right now.

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