On a roll

[gwyn]

Today turned out to be a surprisingly productive day, all things considered. I didn't think it was going to turn out well when I went to the pharmacy to renew my prescriptions and they told me that I was no longer insured, even though I paid the astronomical premiums for COBRA coverage so I wouldn't run into the dreaded pre-existing conditions crap if I get re-employed. So I wasted entirely too much energy being upset that I'd had to pay another $100+ for medicine that should be covered by the gajillion dollars I just paid to the (*%#@* benefits company. Then I decided since I couldn't do anything about it till Monday (as if I didn't have enough to stress over, when I have that test for Dream Freelance Job on Monday morning), I'd tackle the housework, and got a lot done there (though, feochadn, the lawn mower wouldn't stay running after about ten starts, and I finally gave up and put it back).

Then, miracle of miracles, I wrote. Actual writing. Not writing exercise writing, or creative non-fiction or journalistic writing, and most decidedly not fanfic. An actual short (very short!) story, that I didn't abandon after a few paragraphs because it sucks, or because I think I'm crap. I actually wrote the whole thing down, and touched it up a bit, and put it away for a while. It's terrible and needs a lot of work, but I got the bones down, as they say. It couldn't be less interesting nor more poseurish (can you get any more twee than writing in a second person narrative voice? I ask you), but I wrote a whole honest to god short story for the first time in I don't know how many years, without letting my inner devil beat me down.

And then I poked around on Dream Freelance Job's website, cooked a real dinner, played with Photoshop Elements some more (not that I am making any progress in how to use it, but I can pretend), tried to figure out how to network the laptop and the iMac together unsuccessfully, and then... finished my Firefly vid. Which is total crap, but at least I have a finished draft. In my head it was a gorgeous vid, very sad and beautiful. Somehow translating what was in my head to reality was a harder row to hoe this time. I need to get a plugin for better slo-mo, but the mechanical part is finished, anyway. Why do I always finish vids when there's no one around for days and days to give me a beta? Curse my strange circadian rhythm and hermit-like lifestyle!

Comments

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow, that is so kind -- though I feel like the least inspirational person around, because I spend all my time whining about what I don't have, or how I have no self-esteem, and all. But if anything, this was a really important reminder that I *can* just do it if I try, even if I don't get far with it. It's the trying that counts.