This indecision's bugging me

[gwyn]

I tried to work on my Magnificent 7 story this weekend and got probably a grand total of about 250 words down. I can write 1,000 words in less than a lunch hour, so this inability to eke anything worthwhile out is depressing. Because I'm, you know, really depressed already. (The bereavement counseling people never call, either -- I'm thinking this is not an especially great way to treat someone who's already teetering on the edge.) It wasn't helped this weekend by having the cat turn into a vomit and diarrhea machine. The poor kid -- she really freaked out when I took her to the vet on Monday for her followup blood draw (I thought she was having a siezure at first), and then things seemed okay when they called me and told me that the thyroid levels were down to almost normal again, and so I should put her on the low protein food and things would be hunky dory as long as I kept up with the medicine. Except she can't seem to keep the new food down (though she's eaten this a little bit before) and the intestinal distress she had last week is getting worse, not better. Poor kid was a wreck this weekend, as am I from having to be up all night panicking and cleaning up. The last thing I need is another "the cure is worse than the disease" thing going on, and I just can't handle it after everything with Sis_r.

Which leads me to vidding (of course!). I cannot figure out what I want to do for my Vividcon premiere show vid. I keep bouncing around among ideas -- I landed on a great Guster song that would make a perfect vid for Al Swearingen from Deadwood, Jayne Cobb from Firefly, or even Ezra Standish from Mag 7, though I'm leaning heavily toward Al. Not that I think there's a huge call out there for Al vids, but it has a cool bittersweet yet almost perkily cruel tone to it that screams Al to me (or Jayne, or...). So a part of me is jazzed at the idea of making it. But then there's the Buffy vid I want to do, have wanted to since last year -- spooky and ethereal (and short! always a plus) and really sad, where I could focus on her sacrifices and her relationship with Giles, and how they changed over time and losses and suffering. But does the world really need another Buffy vid, and do I need to do yet another Really Tragic Vid for the Jossverse? I don't know. I love the concept in my head, but I also don't know that I have the Final Cut skills to pull it off and it will be hard. But maybe hard is what I need right now.

Then there are still three other ideas I could do as well... and last night I had a bizarre inclination to do an Ocean's 11 vid for some friends of mine who are into it even though I'm not that into it, just because. Just to do it and make them smile. And I'd like to try to make a challenge vid this year, though that seems far away and impossible right now. I've already started plotting out the Wonderfalls vid and that shouldn't be hard, so I'm not even worrying about that in there. But I just don't know what to do for the premiere vid the most -- I do like those tragic vids, and that's one of the few shows where the audience will watch serious vids. And maybe anything Deadwood will be overkill, since probably everyone in the universe will be doing that (at least, the people who aren't doing the show that shall not be named).

I've never had trouble making decisions. I always know what I want, and I go out and look till I find it, or I know how a story will end before I can write it, etc. Normally I know well ahead of time what I want to do for any given project, but right now I can't seem to decide. (Here's your chance to decide for me!) I've always hated the term plot bunnies and stupid little-girly phrases like that, and whenever people talk about their muses I seriously consider killing them as a public service, but right now I suffer from too many of them (pick your poisonous term), but none are winning the throwdown.

Comments

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I vote for Deadwood or Ocean's 11. I'd love to see the Buffy vid, but out of all the choices, those two sound coolest to do right now.

And people are actually vidding the show that shall not be named? *Shocked* Dude, the first season isn't even over yet. Talk about a fad. Hector is not amused.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Well, Ocean's 11 would not be the premiere show vid. Too lightweight and what have you. Not something I consider important enough to me, I guess -- for me, vids I show at cons have to be really meaningful to me, have to be something I want to communicate with. Though there's also always the F&F second vid that I want to do... and that's still burning a hole in my mind, but unfortunately there's been such an explosion of (mainly bad) F&F vids everywhere, that I fear risking the thing that happened with Hard Core Logo, where many people started reacting to the sheer volume of vids that came out suddenly with this "I never want to see another vid to this fandom again!" I'm afraid that there might still be a F&F vid showing up at any show, and I don't know that I want to take that chance. It's not like Buffy or something where you have lots of characters and years of story to mine for visuals.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I hear ya on all counts. Damn, that's discouraging to hear about F&F vids. I hadn't thought there were that many, but I suppose "explosion" could be a relative term. There's Bast's, Lierdumoa's, Khal's, yours...anyone else?

Anyway, I think we've talked before about the danger of vidding for a movie-based fandom because of the lack of variety in the visuals. Whether there are two vids or twenty, I still get what you mean.

Whatever you do, good luck. Also, get well vibes to the kitty.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Of course, you only mention the good ones, but... I think anytime one movie has over four vids within a span of about six month, you run into overkill unless it's a movie series like LotR, which can support huge varieties of tone and characters. But there was also that awful "Smooth" vid where I kept screaming cut! cut!, and I saw at least one other one online... just can't recall it because it was boring. There's also that cute one Zen did, to Speed Racer -- but I'm not sure that's online. I think it's just one of those things where a sudden confluence of vids can make it seem either humdrum, if you've seen it before, or downright annoying, if you're sick to death of it. I never, ever even want to see HCL now becuase I just hated watching all the vids (many by vidders I adore, btw, so it's not the vid quality, it was just the song choices on a number of them and the images made me feel like i needed my eyeballs scrubbed) and I had really wanted to see that movie before all the vids came out. So I really don't want to contribute to anyone feeling like that in F&F.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

It's obvious now that there's been overkill, because I'm sitting here thinking that Bast's vid WAS the "Smooth" vid you disliked. Ah well.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Me, I look forward to watching whatever vid you bring. *wry grin*

For what it's worth, I think the world could always use another Buffy vid. Just because a character or theme has been explored before doesn't mean we can't explore it again.

And Jayne would be cool because I'm just starting to watch Firefly and now I know who he is, whee!

Though really anything you do will be exciting. So I guess I'm no help.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It seems like sometimes all I do is Buffyverse stuff, but then of course I go back and look and there are only a few on the list as a whole. Plus it's always nice to be doing something in a currently hot fandom as opposed to one that's old, but sometimes that nostalgia can be good, like with Killa and Laura's X-Files vid last year. I just am having such a hard time sorting out what I want. In some ways I almost wish I could be in the auction just because then someone could tell me what to do, except of course that's just a road towards bitter ego crushing humiliation, so probably for the best!

[klia.livejournal.com]

I think a lot depends on which would be more therapeutic for you. Seriously. I hate to say it, but I wonder if immersing yourself in another tragic Buffy vid is what you need right now, after everything you've been through? The Deadwood or O11 vids would certainly be less traumatic, and there's far less source to scan through, too.

::hugs::

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah... OTOH, possibly cathartic. Someone else's trauma &tc. But the Deadwood/Firefly/Mag 7 song or the Buffy song are the only ones I want to do for VVC; I would do the O11 as a side project for fun for my friends.

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

Well, I'll happily watch anything you vid, so I can't offer an opinion. :)

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

But does the world really need another Buffy vid, and do I need to do yet another Really Tragic Vid for the Jossverse?

Yes! Please...

(Love the icon, but that may be because I love the story so much.)

& :-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Heee... I figured you'd say that! I think this would be somewhat unusual in the Buffy and Giles category, definitely, since it's not a ship thing and it's mostly about B annyway, but I sometimes think that I've done the universe to death, and also, that everything's been mined. But hopefully if I do it I can find something new.

[elz.livejournal.com]

I landed on a great Guster song that would make a perfect vid for Al Swearingen from Deadwood, Jayne Cobb from Firefly, or even Ezra Standish from Mag 7, though I'm leaning heavily toward Al.

*hums The Hero of Canton and sends subliminal signals in your direction*

Al's good too, though. :)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

This is the hard part! They would all be so good... I mean, I love it for Al the most in that there's stuff in there about understanding that I don't know Jayne has (or at least, as reached, because he's searching still even at the end of Jaynestown) that I see in Al when he kills the preacher, but... I'm torn! I do have another song in reserve for Jayne, though -- but I've avoided it for a while becuase I was just avoiding vids, and then I was worried that people would think it's too sophisticated for him.

[kadymae.livejournal.com]

In my Arrogant Opinion, one can never have too much Al or Jayne ... or both.

[thisisbone.livejournal.com]

If you're taking votes, I'd say do the O11 vid, just because I think spending a ton of time with those guys has got to be good for the soul.

I wanted to tell you that I dreamed your "Stripped" vid last night, music and all. It was odd and sort of thrilling, since most of my dreams don't come complete with soundtrack. :)

[spookycat4.livejournal.com]

I used to hear the cowboys talk. They'd come into work and sit on my shoulder and whisper all day long and then I'd come home and write down every word,'cause Chris would bitch until I did. (You'd think my inspiration would look like Vin, wouldn't you?)

The bastards left me high and dry and not even the promise to let them do everything real funny cowboys would do and not limit them to my silly "they ain't putting anything into their mouths their mommas wouldn't approve of" early slash accomplishments, would bring them back.

Geez, I've got all these loverly little plot uh, hhhm, idears, and no cowboys talking.

Well anyway, there is no real point to this little whine fest, just to hopefully amuse you a little bit. Oh, and to ask if you've seen a really hot scruffy guy chased by a real scary-cool blond guy. If you do, could you rope them and tell them to get their asses back to Baltimore? There's much hot monkey love for them and I'll even throw in some chocolate for Vin, if they get back here pronto.

Heck, I'll even give you my neurotic kitty, to keep your vomit machine clean and tidy(what can I say the neurotic kitty eats really gross stuff). Of course you'd have to give him valium, since he hates and is terrified of all other felines (even the 2 month old girl kitten we rescued from starving).

So, send the cowboys back if you see 'em please.

Kim

[zoerayne]

Erm. I don't suppose you'd tell me (in email, if you don't want it public) what the Guster song is? Because, see, I've been working on an idea for this Guster song for Jayne, and...well, I'd hate for us to be doing the same thing. I mean, it'd be cool in a meta way--great minds thinking alike and all that--but not so much in a practical way, yes?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It's Grin. I think I'm more inclined to do Al from Deadwood for it, but if you're already doing it, then obviously I would change my mind about that.

[zoerayne]

Cool, it's not the same song. Of course, now I have to go listen to "Grin" to see what I think of it for Jayne. (I don't watch Deadwood -- yet -- so I can't vote in the "What Should Gwyn Vid" poll.) *g*

For me, Goldfly has always been this overwhelmingly Smallville-oriented album (especially "Great Escape," "Demons," and "Medicine"), so it's hard for me to see anyone but Lex and Clark in any of those songs.

Oh, and in case it matters, my Guster Jayne-centric vid is going to be to "Eden." I think it shows the essential difference between what Jayne thinks he is and what his actions show him to be. (Erm. Yes, I'm probably a bit biased when it comes to the big man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.) I've been struggling over it for a year, though, and a part of me was kinda hoping you were going to do it so I wouldn't have to. *g* Oh, well; back to the storyboard.