I don't want to talk about it
Aug. 22nd, 2005 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynI won't be doing a con report this year for VVC; i just feel too bad overall to do it. But I wanted to let my friends know I'm home, especially ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
movies_michelle, since she saw what happened to me at the airport. I was already in a really bad head space from finding out that United had literally stolen my aisle seat away from me without telling me, and there were no seats left available except middle ones, and they refused to do anything about it. It was really depressing me facing a four and a half hour flight sitting in the middle with my six foot frame and everything, but then I had to catch the toe of my shoe on the curb at O'Hare and I fell, really hard. My right elbow is bloody and scraped and seriously bone-bruised, my hand is scraped raw and bruised, my knee (and my favorite jeans are wrecked) as well, my other elbow is bruised, I have a huge bruise on my forearm and thigh, and it hurts a lot, and my wrist is sprained pretty bad. Plus it's always lovely to humiliate yourself utterly and completely in front of hundreds of strangers and your friends from the con.
It was *much* harder to say goodbye to people than I had expected and so that added to my overall feelings of sadness. I don't know why I hadn't expected that, but it was tough. Me and goodbyes these days are unmixy. And the premieres show ended up making me feel kind of dumb. I felt like I had brought a VCR vid to a convention of professional filmmakers. The dazzle and the flash were the big themes of the evening (much of the content looked like it had come from pro editing marketing houses), and I'm not sure that slow, quiet vids have a place in this world anymore... I don't know, it just felt weird and bad. AMV has infiltrated the live action vidding world, i think, and I don't know what this means for people like me who have a different aesthetic... anyway, I have to think about it. It just ended up feeling bad for me, I had loved my vid and put a lot of emotion into it (I made it right after my sister died, so there are a lot of feelings tied up in it), and it was hard seeing how it didn't fit in with the rest of the themes and styles. I don't know. (ETA: Many people had lovely kind things to say about the Buffy vid; it was just mostly me who felt it was so lame and sad compared to the rest of the vids in the show and the reactions they engendered. I was in awe of many of those vids, and I felt very basic and support-hosey again.)
The panel went okay, but only thanks tomelina123 and her great theory; I have no idea what would have happened if I'd had to do that alone. I loved seeing my friends, especially the girl talks in different rooms on Sunday night. But there were a lot of weird bad things that happened toward the end, and then falling at O'Hare and being crammed between smelly Dutch guy and face-plucking Chinese OCD woman (seriously, I don't want to talk about it), just kind of sent any good feelings spirallling away. My damn cat wouldn't even come out to see me.
I'm just tired, and sappy, and sad, and I don't think I could say anything valuable or important about the con at all. I'll put the vids up as I can, but I don't know if I'll announce them all at once or parcel them out.
movies_michelle, since she saw what happened to me at the airport. I was already in a really bad head space from finding out that United had literally stolen my aisle seat away from me without telling me, and there were no seats left available except middle ones, and they refused to do anything about it. It was really depressing me facing a four and a half hour flight sitting in the middle with my six foot frame and everything, but then I had to catch the toe of my shoe on the curb at O'Hare and I fell, really hard. My right elbow is bloody and scraped and seriously bone-bruised, my hand is scraped raw and bruised, my knee (and my favorite jeans are wrecked) as well, my other elbow is bruised, I have a huge bruise on my forearm and thigh, and it hurts a lot, and my wrist is sprained pretty bad. Plus it's always lovely to humiliate yourself utterly and completely in front of hundreds of strangers and your friends from the con. It was *much* harder to say goodbye to people than I had expected and so that added to my overall feelings of sadness. I don't know why I hadn't expected that, but it was tough. Me and goodbyes these days are unmixy. And the premieres show ended up making me feel kind of dumb. I felt like I had brought a VCR vid to a convention of professional filmmakers. The dazzle and the flash were the big themes of the evening (much of the content looked like it had come from pro editing marketing houses), and I'm not sure that slow, quiet vids have a place in this world anymore... I don't know, it just felt weird and bad. AMV has infiltrated the live action vidding world, i think, and I don't know what this means for people like me who have a different aesthetic... anyway, I have to think about it. It just ended up feeling bad for me, I had loved my vid and put a lot of emotion into it (I made it right after my sister died, so there are a lot of feelings tied up in it), and it was hard seeing how it didn't fit in with the rest of the themes and styles. I don't know. (ETA: Many people had lovely kind things to say about the Buffy vid; it was just mostly me who felt it was so lame and sad compared to the rest of the vids in the show and the reactions they engendered. I was in awe of many of those vids, and I felt very basic and support-hosey again.)
The panel went okay, but only thanks to
melina123 and her great theory; I have no idea what would have happened if I'd had to do that alone. I loved seeing my friends, especially the girl talks in different rooms on Sunday night. But there were a lot of weird bad things that happened toward the end, and then falling at O'Hare and being crammed between smelly Dutch guy and face-plucking Chinese OCD woman (seriously, I don't want to talk about it), just kind of sent any good feelings spirallling away. My damn cat wouldn't even come out to see me. I'm just tired, and sappy, and sad, and I don't think I could say anything valuable or important about the con at all. I'll put the vids up as I can, but I don't know if I'll announce them all at once or parcel them out.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 04:24 am (UTC)But I'll still watch due South with you...anytime, anywhere.
Is that a March of the Penguins icon??
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 04:20 pm (UTC)I don't know where the icon pic comes from, but I got it from
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 12:31 am (UTC)Icon-raining post indeed. I was wondering where
I'm almost completely sure it is March of the Penguins. There hasn't been filmmaking done of the penguins down there at such a high quality, ever. (Have you seen the movie? OMG, so great.)