My favorite shows are porn magazines
Apr. 24th, 2006 02:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynLast Friday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
feochadn told me that the names of my two currently running fave bad shows are both names of gay porn mags. Or maybe just regular porn for guys obsessed with size. I didn't ask. I should feel ashamed. Numb3rs has become increasingly lame and formulaic, lacking even the really striking visual scenarios of first season, but I don't care because they give me the huge family love and terse Don angst that I crave, so I suffer the dumbassness for the hit of the good.
Also on CBS, which seems to specialize in the lamest of lame shows with lame dialog and cardboard casts and lame acting, I now have The Unit, which sucks like a wormhole inside a black hole and by gum, I love it. It has Dennis Haysbert, whom most folks think of as President Palmer on 24 (or hell, the Allstate guy), but who will always be the mercurial, whimsical, satanic, brilliant, arrogant, and sexy Dr. Theo Morris from Now and Again (with Eric Close, and let me tell you, that show made my eyeballs very happy indeed). It has Robert Patrick, my little T-1000, who's been in everything, it seems, but who recently knocked my socks off with his performance in Walk the Line, and he goes around yelling macho things and giving us arm porn every single week (man is in *good* shape). But most of all it has Max Martini, my new obsession, best known to Numb3rs fans as Special AgentSmokin' HottieBilly Cooper.
Even if you're busy with whatever the hell else is on Tuesdays at 9, (Wah! Scrubs! I miss you), you should find a way to watch this show just for the quien es mas machoness of each week. It is so lame and pathetic and I love it so. I'm ashamed. But I'm not. If people aren't ashamed of SGA or House or whatever, then I'm not going to be ashamed of The Unit! Or, well, maybe just a little bit. Because of the b-plots and the wives, who are all heinous.
But the next best thing to being there ismspooh's screencap reviews. She has the same love hate I do. This week's is, as usual, stellar. If you don't know the guys, she calls Bob, lead newbie guy (Scott Foley), Noel because that's who he played on Felicity; Haysbert (Jonas, team leader) the Prez from 24, and Patrick she calls Col. ArmPorn, because he is. And Max is always HotGuy, because, well, he is what he is, too. We share a mutual appreciation for HotGuy. The two guys who seem to be in and out of the series and who have names but I can't remember them are Thing 1 and Thing 2. Even if you never plan to watch it, the reviews are hilarious and you should read them. Pretty much gives you a good idea of the show and its lameness, but you still get eye candy. The only thing missing is HotGuy's voice, which is low and sexy and primal, and the Prez's stentorian, sexy rumble. Sometimes it's fun to listen to Col. ArmPorn bellow at the dumbass wives.
At some point I need to hunker down and make a Unit icon (of HotGuy, why do you ask?), but in the meantime it feeds my Max obsession in a way those awful Lifetime movies and multiple viewings of "Man Hunt" from Numb3rs cannot.
feochadn told me that the names of my two currently running fave bad shows are both names of gay porn mags. Or maybe just regular porn for guys obsessed with size. I didn't ask. I should feel ashamed. Numb3rs has become increasingly lame and formulaic, lacking even the really striking visual scenarios of first season, but I don't care because they give me the huge family love and terse Don angst that I crave, so I suffer the dumbassness for the hit of the good. Also on CBS, which seems to specialize in the lamest of lame shows with lame dialog and cardboard casts and lame acting, I now have The Unit, which sucks like a wormhole inside a black hole and by gum, I love it. It has Dennis Haysbert, whom most folks think of as President Palmer on 24 (or hell, the Allstate guy), but who will always be the mercurial, whimsical, satanic, brilliant, arrogant, and sexy Dr. Theo Morris from Now and Again (with Eric Close, and let me tell you, that show made my eyeballs very happy indeed). It has Robert Patrick, my little T-1000, who's been in everything, it seems, but who recently knocked my socks off with his performance in Walk the Line, and he goes around yelling macho things and giving us arm porn every single week (man is in *good* shape). But most of all it has Max Martini, my new obsession, best known to Numb3rs fans as Special Agent
Even if you're busy with whatever the hell else is on Tuesdays at 9, (Wah! Scrubs! I miss you), you should find a way to watch this show just for the quien es mas machoness of each week. It is so lame and pathetic and I love it so. I'm ashamed. But I'm not. If people aren't ashamed of SGA or House or whatever, then I'm not going to be ashamed of The Unit! Or, well, maybe just a little bit. Because of the b-plots and the wives, who are all heinous.
But the next best thing to being there is
mspooh's screencap reviews. She has the same love hate I do. This week's is, as usual, stellar. If you don't know the guys, she calls Bob, lead newbie guy (Scott Foley), Noel because that's who he played on Felicity; Haysbert (Jonas, team leader) the Prez from 24, and Patrick she calls Col. ArmPorn, because he is. And Max is always HotGuy, because, well, he is what he is, too. We share a mutual appreciation for HotGuy. The two guys who seem to be in and out of the series and who have names but I can't remember them are Thing 1 and Thing 2. Even if you never plan to watch it, the reviews are hilarious and you should read them. Pretty much gives you a good idea of the show and its lameness, but you still get eye candy. The only thing missing is HotGuy's voice, which is low and sexy and primal, and the Prez's stentorian, sexy rumble. Sometimes it's fun to listen to Col. ArmPorn bellow at the dumbass wives.At some point I need to hunker down and make a Unit icon (of HotGuy, why do you ask?), but in the meantime it feeds my Max obsession in a way those awful Lifetime movies and multiple viewings of "Man Hunt" from Numb3rs cannot.
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-24 10:35 pm (UTC)I figure that if it makes me happy, it's all good. (Even if it is cheese!)
And now I pimp out my community
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Date: 2006-04-24 10:58 pm (UTC)And the screencaps reviews are to die for! thank you for pointing them out.
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Date: 2006-04-24 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-25 01:11 am (UTC)Personally, I'm just grateful they're producing tons of shows I actually like that also satisfy my hot guy cravings. If that makes me totally shallow, well, so be it. *g*
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Date: 2006-04-25 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-25 02:47 am (UTC)I also like Boston Legal -- about 90% for that Fast Eddie guy and 10% for Murphy Brown.
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Date: 2006-04-25 09:48 pm (UTC)Lately, I just pretend that Numb3rs, the show, is an excuse to give Don more character background. It totally works that way.
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Date: 2006-04-27 06:32 pm (UTC)FYI
Date: 2006-05-16 03:43 am (UTC)