Of cats and computers

[gwyn]

Warning: This is just me whinging. I in no way expect people to offer me solutions (you're certainly welcome to, of course), but I'm not asking for help -- it's just, sometimes ya gotta vent.

Two things that are getting me down. (They are nothing compared to my larger problems, or other people's problems, but they are really getting me down the past few days.)

1. Blues is becoming incredibly aggressive toward Olive and their fighting is getting more intense. And I don't know what to do about it. I've spent so much money on Feliway and toys and things to try to keep them happy and occupied, but it just doesn't matter. He used to swat at her sometimes, or try to play with her, or just sniff her, and since she hated him, she'd get all pissed and violent at him. But now, that's not enough -- he's being a complete and utter teenage boy and attacking her, chasing her off of the perch (which she never gets to sit in now for longer than a few minutes, and I wish I could afford another one, but I can't), chasing her off chairs, the bed, you name it. He jumps on her with all fours, hits her, and she hits back, and it turns into a rolling catfight. Tonight they were so bad on the back porch that their fighting threw the door open when Olive got knocked into it.

I am at my wit's end. I don't know what to do to make some peace. The only time they will get within a few feet of each other is when I'm sleeping in between them, and even then, that's rare that they're both on the bed at the same time. If they eat, their heads are close together, but after a few minutes Olive will bolt away from him, and if she's not super hungry, she won't eat at all with him nearby. He takes every toy away from her, tries to steal her treats... I just hate it. And the rest of the time, he's super sweet and gentle (except to my furniture), and you would never guess he's getting so aggressive. I know he may grow out of it, but... right now, my head is going to explode. Also, it means i have to vacuum the fur all the time.

2. My internet started getting really slow a while ago, and it's just so freaking annoying to be spending so much more for the faster speed DSL and getting a slower load than I got with the old speed. It's almost dial up slow. I've tried all kinds of things, and I can't figure out what it is. Doesn't matter what browser I use, either. It makes LJ hopping really hard -- just reading comments to posts takes well over a minute to load, and forget about vid stuff. And dealing with this stuff... you always get the finger pointing (It's the ISP. No, it's the provider. No, it's your computer. Rinse, repeat). It's fortunate that i don't have to work online like that anymore, but... I'm so frustrated at spending money for something that is sucking time out of my life -- I spent the extra money to have more free time because things would get done on the interwebs faster.

But at least I had a good weekend -- mlyn and I drove down to Portland yesterday and I did my little volunteer shift at Wordstock, met some nice people, and we had a lovely dinner after a visit to Powell's before heading back to Seattle. We didn't even have to pay for all-day parking and were able to take the Max to the convention center for free, and it just made me feel so frustrated with Seattle. Why can't we do that? What is wrong with this town? I was bummed that we didn't have time to see some of the parks so M'lyn could take some pictures, but I plan to go down more often, I think, because I remembered how much I love that town and I don't know why I haven't been back there for so long.

Comments

[varina8.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good weekend. Like you, I always wonder why I haven't gone back sooner.

Do your kitties share a bowl? When I had my two, I found that separate eating areas helped.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Nah, they've always had separate bowls, but they do share a placemat (though the dishes are as far apart as I can get them). They are compelled to eat each other's food, though, which was a problem when Olive had medicine. Olive doesn't use the litterbox, either, unless she's forced, so I know that's not an issue (and when I go away, I leave two boxes for them, far apart). It's just ... he's got to be the big kitty, always has to be higher up than she is (the tallest kitty wins in the wild, I know), always has to provoke her. I think he almost enjoys it.

[klia.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the kitties. I don't know what you can do except maybe feed them in different rooms and get them apart as soon as Blues starts messing with Olive? When he's being a jerk, maybe try picking her up, taking her into another room, and closing the door, then just chill with her and pet her alone for a while? Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll figure it out?

Re: your DSL -- have you done any tests to verify what speeds you're actually getting (I use the site the techs who set up my DSL use -- http://www.dslreports.com/stest). If you're not getting what you're paying for, and you can prove it, your provider should do something. Sometimes when mine is feeling sluggish, I'll run both the Flash and Java speed tests, and for some reason things always improve afterward.

I don't use a router, but if you do, that might be part of the problem, too. I know thevetia had all sorts of problems with hers at one point, but that was with her Windows machine.

The only other lame piece of advice I can think of is, if you don't do it regularly, empty your caches and clear out your cookies. Sometimes that stuff can bog down browsers.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the info on the DSL. I am, on the advice of counsel (my friend who does IT), going to disconnect stuff and check cables and such. And then probably get in touch with the ISP (gah) and see if maybe it might be the modem. I've been emptying the cache and cookies, but it doesn't seem to help. I thought at one point maybe it was the wireless, so I started turning off Airport and then turning it back on, but it doesn't seem to help anymore, it must have just randomly been a good day that time.

I did try to intervene in the fights, but unfortunately Olive runs under things and I can't get to her, just get to Blues and try to take him away. But I usually wait because I got fanged pretty badly a couple of times. It's hard with Ollie -- she hates to be picked up, so she won't let me comfort her, the best I can do is just reach out to her under the bed or couch or chair, and talk soothingly, but I don't think it helps. She's just not that kind of kitty.

[klia.livejournal.com]

Good luck. I hope you figure out what's up with your DSL.

I second Deejay's advice that you should shut Blues in the bathroom when he starts being a jerk. To avoid getting fanged or clawed, put on your oven mitts (get some if you don't have any) before you grab him.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Right now there's only one box, but Olive refuses to use a litterbox unless she's forced, so that's not really an issue (and when she is forced, when I'm gone, I put out a second box far away from the main one). She's got a bladder of steel, I swear, and so she waits until she can go outside. I guess the only thing I can hope for is a detente in the future, but... right now it seems so far away. And the worst part is, I think he just wants her to like him and play with him, but everything's so mixed up that he'll never win her over now. Too far gone.

[destina.livejournal.com]

I don't know anything about having two cats, personally, but I was just chatting with someone who has several, and she suggested getting separate litter boxes and separate food bowls/separate feeding areas for both your cats, and forcing them to remain separate while they eat; she said that helped her solve this problem in the past. I hope the things that are getting you down resolve soon. *hug*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I'll take that hug! I'm sure not getting them from the cats! ;-)

They do have separate bowls, but I think I may start feeding Olive elsewhere if I can -- but they always end up eating each other's food anyway, no matter what I do. Ollie will only do her business outside, so the box is not really an issue. God, I wish it was that simple! Everyone said an older female cat is the best mix with a young male when you're trying to introduce two kitties to each other, but I have managed to prove that advice incorrect. Go, me!

[therienne.livejournal.com]

For Blues -- how about a (vet) behavioralist? We reached the point this summer where I was literally crying every day because I thought I was going to have to put my cat down because I could not get him to stop peeing on *everything*, and attacking merryish, and we'd literally run out of money to deal with replacing and cleaning stuff. I called up my vet and basically bit his head off, and he gave me a referral. I am... well, pretty angry with the vet, still, for not giving me the referral six months earlier, when the problems began, instead waiting until we'd bankrupted ourselves and hit critical mass and were threatening to put him down, but, there's no getting around the fact that the woman he sent me to knew her stuff.

For $300 she came to our house, walked through the entire house checking out the living arrangements, kitty litter setup, etc, watching the cats interact, and asking us questions and taking notes for 2 hours. She wrote up a game plan for us, prescribed prozac for my cat, made us buy more toys for merryish's cats, to wear them out, and a bunch of other stuff. (Including my cat's current quarantine in my room, and gradual reintroduction into the household a few hours at a time). For three months, I can call her every Monday night to talk about our progress, and what changes she wants us to make, and I'm entitled to 2 more office visits if I need them for any reason.

Is it painful, in ways, like having to confine him so much? Yes. Is it working? It really really is. And I'm not big on the drugs for cats front, but, there's no getting around the fact that he's doing much much better.

It wasn't cheap, but it was totally worth the money, and honestly, it was a tiny fraction of what we spent trying to deal with the problem until that point.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Man, I hadn't reazlied that the peeing thing had gotten to the level of you thinking of putting him down, or that he had attacked Merry herself. Jaysus! HOnestly, I wouldn't even mind doing the behaviorist thing (in granola Seattle, I'm sure there are plenty -- hell, my own vet's has an acupuncturist!) if I could afford it. Which, right now I can't, but I guess that's something to keep in mind.

When B isn't around, Ollie is just such a happy, friendly, outgoing cat. The neighbors all thing she's such a doll, but they have no idea. And I wish she was more huggable. She hates to be picked up, so she makes it impossible for me to rescue her from his clutches and take her somewhere we can chill and be together.

Cats! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. But yeah, with the rainy days coming up, I'm going to have to isolate him in the bedroom (one of only two doors in the house, so it's hard to separate them) more if I want her to be comfortable.

[therienne.livejournal.com]

Man, I hadn't reazlied that the peeing thing had gotten to the level of you thinking of putting him down,

I had to bring in a professional to power wash the basement, and a maid service for the rest of the house. We tried, but we just couldn't handle it on our own. Everything on all lower shelves everywhere was thrown out, and both of us had to buy new winter coats (among other things).

or that he had attacked Merry herself

Completely savaged her leg. Ask her, she will show you the scars! Also took to lying across the top of the stairs, and refusing to allow her to come up.

He had lived with other cats when he was younger, so I never thought it would be a real issue -- but apparently, he's older now, a bit more insecure, and beginning to get arthritis. This was his way of dealing with the stress of not knowing if he could handle those young whipper-snapper cats. (Okay, mostly Xander. Boojum just wants to sleep).

It was a rough, rough summer -- but things are getting better, so I know these things can be gotten through now.

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

I wish I had a brilliant suggestion for the cat issues. We've got Monster doing similar things with Luna (the new older cat) right now, and we're doing our best to be patient.

As for the DSL issues, we ended up resolving some of ours by replacing the router. That helped a lot more than we expected. And the next step is to go back to our ISP and get a new modem from them, which should improve things that much more.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I am surprised about the router. That doesn't seem to be the kind of thing that would go bad! But I am going to try to do the process of elimination thing and see if anything in particular will help.

I wish cats were as easy to do the process of elimination thing on. ;-)

[leela-cat.livejournal.com]

I was surprised about the router as well. Ours was only 4 years old or so.

[deejay.livejournal.com]

Start with separate food bowls and feed them simultaneously. Take each cat to its own bowl and don't allow them to switch or eat out of the other's. Having two litter pans would help, too.

When one "attacks" the other, separate them immediately; stick the attacker alone in the bathroom for a while (ignore its piteous howls of indignation) ~ they will soon get a clue that such behavior warrants swift banishment. Don't be mad or frustrated when you must reinforce "unacceptance of unacceptable" behavior, just stoically separate them and, eventually, they should come around.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

The bowl thing is already how I do it, although I am going to try to put them even farther away, just for Ollie's sake. Unfortunately they do eat each other's food all the time, even though it's the same damn stuff, and they do it when I'm not able to watch.

I wish this were a bigger house. I think it would definitely be easier for the cats to deal with each other (more places for Ollie to go without him, more doors I could actually shut whne he's being bad) and me to deal with them. I am going to try to be more diligent about breaking them up, but it's really down to Blues -- Ollie hides where I can't get at her, and B just continues to swat at her while she's down there, so I can at least grab him by his little wigglebutt and haul him somewhere else. I just don't want to get fanged like I have before!