gwyn: (jack ianto hex_graphics)
Probably the last thing I need to do is write a long post about my thoughts on Torchwood: Children of Earth. I've been working much of the day on formatting a resources section in this book edit, and it's such a mess that my RSI is about 100x worse than normal and my head aches and my eyes are crossed. But I can't stop thinking about it and talking to myself about it, since there's no one else to talk to. The cats are usually quite unperturbed by Capt. Jack's manpain.

Forget it, Jack, it's Torchwood )
gwyn: (jack ianto hex_graphics)
Okay, so here are the vids. Links to the high quality files first (my main vids page, please follow the links there, and it is no longer password protected btw), followed by embedded Imeem streams. Squee, criticism, general blathering, linkage or pimpage are all terribly welcome.

For Club Vivid 2008

Jump Around
Artist: House of Pain
Fandom: Angel
File: QT Divx avi, 28 MB
Get out your seat and jump around!
Streaming: here

Jump Around behind the cut )

For Premieres

Try Not to Breathe
Artist: R.E.M.
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
File: QT .mov 40 MB
Who remembers the rememberer?
Streaming: here

Try Not to Breathe behind the cut )
gwyn: (jack fizz_i_cons)
OK, the vid is done, and demuxed, and sent to VVC. The first attempt was bad, but since I haven't heard back on the second one, I'm assuming no news is good news and that [livejournal.com profile] keiko_kirin's excellent advice worked. Compressor is not the least bit intuitive for a program. (Well, none of the FC Studio stuff is, but it's pretty confusing as confusing programs go. I understand from others that it is much-loathed.) I spent hours and hours poking around, trying things, making a hash of it. My .mov file is gorgeous, but I think it's saved the wrong way because it's also insanely huge, but I really do not know what to save this thing as -- FCP just has way too many settings. People are paralyzed when they have too many choices! Don't these people know this?

But anyway, the dirgey, angst-fest, poor woobie who dies all the time and loses everyone whinge of a Capt. Jack vid is in the can. I had some trouble with aspect ratios due to the DLs of season 2 eps often being different, and some of the clips have this weird video noise in them that I get sometimes from .avis, but I just didn't have time to worry about that. I've never worked so hard up against a deadlne before, and it freaks me out. I'm just not a procrastinator about timelines; I can't stand the pressure of working close to a due date. And now I have post-partum depression. I always get like this when I finish a vid that's really ... I dunno, important or emotional for me. There's this thing about Jack that I love, this underlying constant sense of grief that we get to see from time to time, that's made me want to vid him from the start. Nowhere was that more evident to me than when he and Gwen are sitting on the cliffside and talking about telling the families of the missing people who've been returned through the rift, and his reaction to when she challenges him that hasn't he ever lost anyone? And it's like that's all he's done, over and over, since being resurrected. And I love that about him, that he still carries on.

Anyways. My misery at trying to understand how to do things technologically that I have trouble understanding how to do is made worse when it's pre-period depression. Right before that time of the month, OMG, I am doom and gloom cubed. Everything makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep for days. I never even really realized what it was until many years ago, my Ex pointed out that I was practically suicidal for a few days every month and so he'd remind me, "Um, maybe it's just your pre-period depression talking?" in this small, terrified voice, because I think he was afraid I'd turn my suicidalness into homicidalness and kill him in his sleep (which I threatened to do on a number of occasions, so it wasn't like he was making that up out of whole cloth).

What's worse is that I've hit those lovely golden years ("That time of year thou mayest in me behold, when autumn leaves, or none, or few do hang...") of perimenopause, where you're still stuck with the effing thing but you get the joys of being menopausal. If this is the before, I really hate to thing of what the after is going to be like. Because my body is wreaking havoc on me without any kind of warning, and the headaches OMG (which I have right now, and it fracking hurts), and I am hoping to go to Cape Town next year but I wonder if my insane body will let me travel. I sleep for ridiculous amounts of time sometimes, and other times can't sleep at all, but I never know when this going to happen.

So of course, something like vidding, where I am frustrated by my lack of ability to grasp technical issues, balloons into this Huge Thing and the hormones just turn it crazy-making. And I don't think the vid is even that good! So it's like expending all this energy into something and sobbing and rending my garments, all for this thing that I want to set on fire. This is why I always say that vidders are insane. We are.

I wanted to work on some other vids but I have that whole post-partum thing going on. It's over, and I don't have to look at it for months, which is good, but OTOH, my baby! It's gone! Oy. Vidding is hard.
gwyn: (vids)
I finished my VVC Premieres vid finally today. I think it looks awful but what can you do. I've never worked this far up against the deadline, which is Friday night, and I always like to give myself lots of room. That was not in the cards this year, between the job changes and getting a new computer and needing to get Final Cut Pro in order to vid and then another hard drive getting killed so I couldn't just use the old computer and FC Express. Gah.

At least Jack and Ianto are pretty and that makes it somewhat easier to deal with. Jack is so, so pretty. OTOH, I really envy Gwen's actress, getting to play all that hot UST with him. Yum.

Anyhow. I am once again in the position of begging my flist for help. Would anyone out there have some time to help me figure out how to export the file and demux it? I have never been able to get the demuxing thing to work before, due to compatibility issues, but supposedly with Pro I can. However, the manual is oriented toward the professional editor, and doesn't really provide the info I need in a way I can understand this and how it relates to what I need to do for VVC. And there are not only beeellions more choices about encoding than my old FCE 2.3 had, the interfaces are quite different (bigendian and littleendian whatnow?), and I am utterly lost and starting to get that sinking frustrated feeling where I'm going to cry because I am so hopelessly stupid. I'm using FCP HD, and which I guess is FCP 6? I understood it that I was meant to save the video file as MPEG 2, but I don't even see that as an option.

God, why did you make me want to be a vidder and yet make me so technologically inept?

If you can help me, I could meet you in chat or call you, if you might have time, and then I would offer you my first-born child in appreciation. Not that that's much of an offer, I realize. I also will buy you lots of drinks at the con if you're going.
gwyn: (king ianto hex_graphics)
Oh, I never talk about the shows I'm watching lately. I guess I just don't feel that inspired to dissect and discuss and analyze the way I used to. When I'm enjoying something, I just want to, you know, enjoy, and when I'm thinky about something, I think about it to myself and then am too lazy to post. But this weekend I caught up on a lot of stuff. Most importantly

Torchwood season 2 finale )

And then there was new Who )

BSG season 4 premiere )

And then tonight, I made [livejournal.com profile] mlyn come over to watch Vin Diesel's first full-length movie, Strays, which only came out on disc a while ago. I didn't think I could handle it without someone to help me through cringing, but it actually wasn't as bad as I expected. Vin was much goofier and sweeter than I had expected, and he does love showing off his bod, so I can't complain in that regard. Though a lot of wine also helps. But we got a glimpse of the bootay, we got to see him in black boxer briefs, and he spends most of the movie in a white undershirt or variations thereof, so... really, you can't ask for a lot more. Also, he sings. And pretty well, too.
gwyn: (Default)
So, I finally decided that I'd do a Torchwood vid for the Vividcon premieres show this year. I'm a little freaked about doing a popular fandom instead of my usual "now what's that, again?" fandoms of one, but that I can get over. What I can't seem to get over is deciding on the freaking song. I have two really strong, very different songs that I'd love to do... and a third, but I think I might save that for another time. One is currently very popular on alternative stations, which makes me trepidatious --probably within the next week, there will be about 50 vids from the emo girl YouTube vidder types to the song, and I will hate that I chose it. But I love the song. I do. And they can't make me like it less, but it will leave me feeling like maybe it was less appropriate for the con audience.

And the other two are to R.E.M., which is who I vidded to last year at the VVC premieres show (my and Jo's "I Remember" for Charlie Jade). And that makes me feel like I'm being very one-note and predictable (not that I'm not already, but...). So I don't know what to do! And I better get hopping pretty soon, too. I'm actually losing sleep over this! And that calls for a poll, right?

[Poll #1162115]
gwyn: (king ianto hex_graphics)
I have had a really pretty good week in fandom, overall. It started out last weekend with a get-together in honor of [livejournal.com profile] the_shoshanna's visit to Seattle at [livejournal.com profile] montanaharper's house. Much fun and food was had by all (I think I drank all her Pepsi), especially when we started recounting Psychos We Have Known and Hated in fandom. It was by turns funny and kind of cathartic, because once you got your memories of the psycho you had dealt with, purging yourself, so to speak, then someone else would recount their psycho story and you would feel better knowing that theirs was actually considerably worse. The thing I love about fans in a group is that a) you don't have to explain your jokes to others, b) no one cares when you're all shouty and overtalking because they're doing it, too, and c) fans are so well-read and articulate most of the time, and we get to use words you just don't really hear in conversation much otherwise.

Then on Tuesday I stopped by to help [livejournal.com profile] katallison give some meds to the kitty, and before I had to go we had a glass of wine and were commiserating about our inability to have some self-esteem about what we do. We decided we need to find some kind of exorcist or shaman to purge us of this problem.

On Wednesday, I went to get my new iMac. My goodness, it is shiny. I still haven't even taken the protective plastic film off it because I haven't been home enough to really use it, but what little I did do, it was just so amazing to look at. At 24 inches, the screen is only 3 inches smaller than my damn HDTV. I still don't know exactly what FrontRow is, but I was just randomly opening new apps to see what they looked like, and this took me to a listing of movie trailers that opened up full screen on the computer. They looked marvelous and better than on the TV, in fact. I was mesmerized and wasted a huge amount of time watching trailers for movies I don't even care about. I plan today to install some of my newer software that I haven't used yet, and then migrate things over. Besides the display, the thing I'm enjoying most about the computer is, oddly, the keyboard. It's wafer-thin (say in Monty Python voice), and has these flat keys, but they have excellent touch response and more function keys than before. Best of all, they are not spaced too closely together, as the keyboards are for the last iMac iteration. The old Mac extended keyboard was my all time favorite, but the past few years Apple has been getting it wrong, wrong, wrong (don't even get me started on the short stubby little Bondi Blue G3 keyboards with the round mouse) and it's nice to see that they are back in keyboard stylin' business.

Then yesterday was the fannishiest of all. [livejournal.com profile] astolat is in town for a convention, and a small group of us ([livejournal.com profile] sherrold, [livejournal.com profile] wickedwords, and [livejournal.com profile] feochadn) were able to get together with her for dim sum lunch. I picked her up at the hotel and managed to get us lost over on the east side because I had bad user input -- for some reason, I had thought they street was different than it was, and so I was driving around stupidly before Shalott whipped out her internets and found the correct street for me. After lunch, I offered to take her into downtown Seattle, especially to the market, before she had to be back for an event. I found a parking spot right in front of this little French cafe that I adore and we agreed to maybe stop by and have a drink after we toured the market. So we trundled off down the incredibly steep hill (it's the workout tour of Seattle!), and found this beautiful jewelry stand that has been there for 33 years and which I have been by thousands of times but never stopped to look at things. It's always so great to find something you've overlooked, when you look at things through someone else's interests. Shalott found a beautiful, unusual set of jewelry, and then we decided to head back up the steep hill to the cafe.

We got to the top of the hill, and she said, "Where's your car?" That complete sinking feeling of dread came over me as I realized I had parked on 1st Ave., right before rush hour, and they had towed my car. My baby Beetle!! Gone at the hands of merciless tow-truck-drivers! I was so upset and discombobulated and humiliated at my stupidity that at first, I didn't know what to do, which I actually said out loud. Fortunately, Shalott had her wits about her and she said, "There's a phone number on the sign" which of course, there was, and of course, I had completely not looked at when I parked, like the dumbass I am. Way to go to make a good impression on your friends from out of town! Get lost, then get your car towed. I was so, so embarassed. So I called them, then had problems with the phone number (really, would it kill them to listen to their messages so they can discover that it crackles and you can't actually hear all the number?), then we had to get a cab, so we walked into this bar (it's really hard to get a cab on the street in Seattle, your best bet is usually to find a cab stand but there weren't any nearby) for a number.

The bartender was wonderful and she actually immediately punched in the number ("you got towed?") and called one for me, and gave me the card for the lot where the car would be. But of course, the drunk guy sitting at the end of the bar had to try to flirt (he'd been eyeing Shalott like she was candy) -- he shouted, "You got towed? Why'd they do that?" and I said, "Because I was stupid." He had no idea what to make of that, so he suggested we sit and have a drink to wait for the cab, but I thought it might be a tad better to wait outside. The cab driver who picked us up was incredibly chatty, and the two of us were sitting there for the short ride saying "yeah" "definitely" almost in stereo the whole way, I think hoping he would stop talking if we just agreed with him.

Shalott was beyond gracious about the whole awful thing, and she even insisted on paying for the impound, which I feel horrible about but she was adamant. (Seriously, you are getting a nice dinner in Chicago and some really good wine for this!) I have never felt so stupid -- I've lived in this city all my adult life, and I know downtown like the back of my hand, and I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. I know they clear the street at 3!! I was just so... well, as someone pointed out to me last night, I was having a good time. Apparently me + good times = stoopit. Anyway, we got the ticket for me to pay later (because as they point out on the ticket, I BROKE THE LAW), and trundled off back to the hotel in nasty rainy rush hour, and then had a brief drink in the bar, before she had to head off to an event and I had to head off to [livejournal.com profile] gattagrigia's for Torchwood watching.

And OMG, I just have to say, I am really enjoying that show more and more (even though, yeah, it's TEH DUMB) and Jack and Ianto = OTP woobie sexy love and I couldn't be happier with things and I don't want to hear other people harshing what I'm enjoying so much. Shalott and I had talked in the car about what we love about Jack as a character, and the 51st century sexuality, and by the end of the day, I was feeling like maybe, just maybe, I might turn really fannish about the show. I haven't had anything that gave me that feeling and that other people could share with me for some time (there are things I feel very intensely about, like The Wire and Charlie Jade, but they are so small and don't have that fannish network that I kind of feed off of and absorb), so I kind of hope that maybe it takes.

And with any luck, maybe I'll even want to write again. I keep hoping. So, what else... Oh, yeah. Shalott and I talked a bit about the OTW, and I told her that I've steadfastly avoided anything about it for a long while because I just lalala don't want to hear people going on about why they think it's a bad idea. I just prefer to wait for things to start, and then see if I can get involved, but I just really have not wanted to listen to the crap some people sling at it. I think it's fabulous, and please to be going away now thank you if you have "issues." And obviously, I'm not boycotting LJ today. I respect your decisions if you are, but... well, I don't think there are good alternatives right now for the thousands of people in fandom to stay connected this way. I've got other journals, and if we end up playing at journalfen or insanejournal, then I'll wait and see, but I think IJ is going the way of GJ. No, I don't believe LJ is being run well. I think they've been colossal asses lately. I hate what I think SUP is going to do and their contempt for users. But until, as [livejournal.com profile] merryish said today, they start setting fans on fire, I can't see an alternative for such a large user base. I dunno.

And I wish everyone a (something) Purim and Good Friday (I'm never sure if it should be solemn or joyous wishes on these days!). BPAL did their lunacy update yesterday and their April Fool's update and I'm in perfume heaven. No money, but I have to find some for the Tiki Lounge scents, OMG.
gwyn: (jack fizz_i_cons)
I know, I know, I'm always asking vidding questions here. This weekend, I was at a fan gathering and I mentioned I was thinking of doing a Torchwood vid for my VVC premiere vid. I have only ever once done a vid to a currently hot fandom at that con, and the one time I did it went over like a bomb, so I think sometimes I should just stay with obscure, weird shit that no one else knows... but I digress. That's not actually the question.

My question, since everyone was very enthusiastic about doing this, is about source. I can get the first season discs from either the UK or US, but second season, which I would like to use, doesn't come out until June 2 in the UK. So that means I'll have to use DLs off either the Beeb or the Beeb US, both of which plaster their logos in the upper left corner all over people's faces. I HATE THOSE. Ahem, anyway. I have first season on files also torrented, and some have logos, some don't. What would be better? Make the vid with clear, clean first season DVDs, and use the current season torrented files, with the logos? I probably won't have enough time to replace the clips from second season with the UK discs, because I am not sure I can get them in time to finish a file. Replace the clips after the con when I post it? Just not worry about having some logo'd and some not, because no one will care?

I notice them like whoa, and they really impede my full enjoyment of things because they distract me so much. So my inclination is just to, well, not make a vid at all until I can get either clean source all the way through, or use exclusively the torrented files so that at least the logo placement is somewhat consistent. I just can't decide. Help! What are Torchwood vidders planning to do? (Come on, you know I'm going to be one of, what, about 20 of us at the con?) What do viewers want to see?
gwyn: (jack fizz_i_cons)
John Barrowman is interviewed in AfterElton.com and he had this to say about the upcoming season of Torchwood.
Read more... )

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