To be determined
Apr. 11th, 2005 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynI feel like my life is TBD right now. I cannot seem to focus on anything much except vidding, for some weird reason. (More on my stupid life later.) So, since I'm all but ADD except for vids, I have my new La Femme Nikita vid up at my site. (It's QT, 22MB, sorry for that but I still haven't found anything I like except MPEG-4 for both audio and video, and so my files are large. I'm a total quality Nazi, and have a hard enough time coping with the tiny pictures anyway, since I make my vids specifically to be watched on a large screen, and I don't like the options I have available, and the QT Divx thing won't even install the #$%$&@# player, let alone allow me to make a Divx file. So there.) The vid is to Sneaker Pimps' 6 Underground (Nellee Hooper edit), and it's kind of a look at what sort of cost Nikita pays for loving that man of hers, Michael, inside Section One.
The weekend was strange, up and down.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sdwolfpup came down to my house to look over this vid file and help me figure out how to do the effects on one segment that was really troubling me, and that I couldn't feel good about as is. I had a great time, and I just like her more and more every time we get together -- I learn excellent things about Final Cut from her, and we gossip, and it's always fun. So she gave me just the right workaround for the segment, and I was able to finish it this morning, finally. Learning this was a long slow slog, but I think the vid came out way better than I expected it to, considering it was my learning new impossible software vid. sherrold says I dodged the bullet by it not making the Vividcon dance show cut, because she says there's too much going on for it to be a dance vid, even a slow sexy dance vid, so that made me feel good that I'd achieved something with the story I thought I might otherwise not have been able to because I had such difficulty with the software. Big, big thanks to morgandawn, laurashapiro, and barkley, too, for all the FCE advice they've given me in the months I've worked on this.
Unfortunately I had to take an older vid offline, but not that many people DL it; I will have to start taking things offline soon to make room for more vids.sdwolfpup told me about her hosting service, which seems to provide more space for less money, so I may look into moving it to accommodate more vids or something, depending on if they support the things I need. Oh, for limitless vid space!
Speaking of vids,sherrold and wickedwords showed us their draft of their Club Vivid vid, and it was adorable and hysterical, and the highlight of our local fan bash. It was nice to see everyone, but I realized by the end of the evening how weirdly hyper and yet exhausted I get around people right now, and I don't know if I need to start taking my sister's anti-anxiety drugs that I pilfered whenever I'm around people, or what, but the feeling is bad and I alternate between trying not to burst into tears and feeling really talkative and overenergetic.
Part of it is stress -- dealing with trying to find a home for the kitties, dealing with my sister's friends, all of whom want to take care of me but who are making things worse. And her one friend, to whom I'm very grateful for saving her life and giving us a few more weeks with her, but who is obnoxious beyond reason at times, started spewing her emotional vomit all over me this weekend about my sister's other friend, G, who was the main caretaker in this whole awful thing. How G is keeping her out of the loop (which is true, but since G's got power of attorney and she's pretty much representing me and my dad in San Diego, too effing bad), how G's friends who are taking care of my sister's house are being bitchy to her, blah blah... I was like, you know, I am really not the person you need to be venting to since I am teetering on the edge of sanity right now and am so depressed I can hardly get dressed in the morning. She may have been your good friend, but she was my freakin' twin sister, so please don't talk to me like I'm your analyst because I am in no frame of mind to hear it. It threw a pall over the whole weekend, because I'm having so much trouble coping with my guilt and my emptiness, and the last thing I need is for her friends to start bickering and quibbling and then running to me about it. When she starts complaining about how G doesn't like her and whatever, I'm like, honey, most of us don't like you, but of course I can't say that. When she's nice, she's nice, but when she's not, she's an unbearable drama queen and as Paul McCartney said in Hard Day's Night, a mixer -- she likes to start things and then let them flare up while she goes off and does something else. And when she drinks, she's horrible.
The money stuff is starting to happen, as well, and that's just dragging me down. The vultures are circling -- they check for probate filings, and then descend on you with loan offers and whatever. It's really depressing, and I don't have enough depression already, thanksverymuch. Dad and I are still trying to sort out the estate. I think that life these days is evil -- they expect you to do all this insanely expensive legal stuff when a person dies, and it's not like it's not already the worst time of your life anyway, now you have to spend tens of thousands of dollars for legal issues and be set upon by money people. It's just... sick how we deal with death in this country. There's no time for grief or despair; you have to be in court soon, so better get crackin'!
And I feel guilty about not writing fanfic, and about not calling people, and not doing stuff, and whatever. Yesterday I went to see Sin City, the first movie I've seen since the Pacifier, and it was great and I really enjoyed it... Clive! In red Chucks! Too cute. But I get so tired when people say "where the hell is the next part of ___" as if I'm supposed to be churning out fic, even when they know what I've gone through recently. I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to that. Gee, sorry my sister's death interferes with your enjoyment? I don't know. I know it's easy to say people like that aren't worth the time of day, but they're often people I know! Why vidding is something I can concentrate on, but not writing, is confounding, but there it is.
I want to wake up tomorrow and find out the Witchblade reset button has been pressed. That would be the bestest thing ever.
The weekend was strange, up and down.
sdwolfpup came down to my house to look over this vid file and help me figure out how to do the effects on one segment that was really troubling me, and that I couldn't feel good about as is. I had a great time, and I just like her more and more every time we get together -- I learn excellent things about Final Cut from her, and we gossip, and it's always fun. So she gave me just the right workaround for the segment, and I was able to finish it this morning, finally. Learning this was a long slow slog, but I think the vid came out way better than I expected it to, considering it was my learning new impossible software vid. sherrold says I dodged the bullet by it not making the Vividcon dance show cut, because she says there's too much going on for it to be a dance vid, even a slow sexy dance vid, so that made me feel good that I'd achieved something with the story I thought I might otherwise not have been able to because I had such difficulty with the software. Big, big thanks to morgandawn, laurashapiro, and barkley, too, for all the FCE advice they've given me in the months I've worked on this. Unfortunately I had to take an older vid offline, but not that many people DL it; I will have to start taking things offline soon to make room for more vids.
sdwolfpup told me about her hosting service, which seems to provide more space for less money, so I may look into moving it to accommodate more vids or something, depending on if they support the things I need. Oh, for limitless vid space!Speaking of vids,
sherrold and wickedwords showed us their draft of their Club Vivid vid, and it was adorable and hysterical, and the highlight of our local fan bash. It was nice to see everyone, but I realized by the end of the evening how weirdly hyper and yet exhausted I get around people right now, and I don't know if I need to start taking my sister's anti-anxiety drugs that I pilfered whenever I'm around people, or what, but the feeling is bad and I alternate between trying not to burst into tears and feeling really talkative and overenergetic. Part of it is stress -- dealing with trying to find a home for the kitties, dealing with my sister's friends, all of whom want to take care of me but who are making things worse. And her one friend, to whom I'm very grateful for saving her life and giving us a few more weeks with her, but who is obnoxious beyond reason at times, started spewing her emotional vomit all over me this weekend about my sister's other friend, G, who was the main caretaker in this whole awful thing. How G is keeping her out of the loop (which is true, but since G's got power of attorney and she's pretty much representing me and my dad in San Diego, too effing bad), how G's friends who are taking care of my sister's house are being bitchy to her, blah blah... I was like, you know, I am really not the person you need to be venting to since I am teetering on the edge of sanity right now and am so depressed I can hardly get dressed in the morning. She may have been your good friend, but she was my freakin' twin sister, so please don't talk to me like I'm your analyst because I am in no frame of mind to hear it. It threw a pall over the whole weekend, because I'm having so much trouble coping with my guilt and my emptiness, and the last thing I need is for her friends to start bickering and quibbling and then running to me about it. When she starts complaining about how G doesn't like her and whatever, I'm like, honey, most of us don't like you, but of course I can't say that. When she's nice, she's nice, but when she's not, she's an unbearable drama queen and as Paul McCartney said in Hard Day's Night, a mixer -- she likes to start things and then let them flare up while she goes off and does something else. And when she drinks, she's horrible.
The money stuff is starting to happen, as well, and that's just dragging me down. The vultures are circling -- they check for probate filings, and then descend on you with loan offers and whatever. It's really depressing, and I don't have enough depression already, thanksverymuch. Dad and I are still trying to sort out the estate. I think that life these days is evil -- they expect you to do all this insanely expensive legal stuff when a person dies, and it's not like it's not already the worst time of your life anyway, now you have to spend tens of thousands of dollars for legal issues and be set upon by money people. It's just... sick how we deal with death in this country. There's no time for grief or despair; you have to be in court soon, so better get crackin'!
And I feel guilty about not writing fanfic, and about not calling people, and not doing stuff, and whatever. Yesterday I went to see Sin City, the first movie I've seen since the Pacifier, and it was great and I really enjoyed it... Clive! In red Chucks! Too cute. But I get so tired when people say "where the hell is the next part of ___" as if I'm supposed to be churning out fic, even when they know what I've gone through recently. I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to that. Gee, sorry my sister's death interferes with your enjoyment? I don't know. I know it's easy to say people like that aren't worth the time of day, but they're often people I know! Why vidding is something I can concentrate on, but not writing, is confounding, but there it is.
I want to wake up tomorrow and find out the Witchblade reset button has been pressed. That would be the bestest thing ever.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Re: 6 Underground -- yay!
Date: 2005-04-16 01:09 am (UTC)I know what you mean about combining the effects -- i was actually pretty worried about it. But the show itself used those flashing fast single-frame blown out effects, and they always did fairly interesting, heavy superimpositions, and I very much wanted to use those clips. So I ended up trying to find ways I could mimic some of those clips later on in the vid, just as a way to tie them together so they wouldn't seem so random. And then the additive dissolve thing was sort of my accidental solution to a problem of what to do visually with those rap samples that recur throughout the song. I think in some ways that's why it was hard for me to really grasp the program, because I wasn't going for straight editing, and I set myself such a high bar trying to repeat their own cool visuals. The show is kind of an education in cinematography and effects to highlight character.
And those titles look stupendous because of your help, and I think you again -- it is so nice to be able to ask people who know these things for help. I'm definitely getting there -- it's going to be slow, but I'm getting farther along the more questions I ask.
Re: 6 Underground -- yay!
Date: 2005-04-16 02:59 pm (UTC)I will watch any vid you make, Gwyneth, because you're just that good.
But the show itself used those flashing fast single-frame blown out effects, and they always did fairly interesting, heavy superimpositions, and I very much wanted to use those clips. So I ended up trying to find ways I could mimic some of those clips later on in the vid, just as a way to tie them together so they wouldn't seem so random.
No wonder you got frustrated! That's really hard to do, trying to replicate effects from the source without knowing how they were made. Yikes.
You certainly did an admirable job. I can't tell the difference between the source effects and the ones you made.
it is so nice to be able to ask people who know these things for help.
I'm very happy to help whenever I can. Ask me anytime!