Labor pains

[gwyn]

Sunday night of a supposedly long, holiday-day-off weekend, and I've worked harder this week than maybe ever before. Or at least maybe for the last five or six years, and that's as far back as I can remember. On Friday alone I think we copyedited and published something like 25 stories for the magazine; that doesn't even encompass what we did for the rest of the week. Biggest table of contents we've had since I've been there, and because I was on copy desk duty this weekend (which means I work every morning to proofread the things that have gone up, publish a cartoon, and other small things), that meant I also had to build covers and other things that require a lot of detail work and concentration. But I felt proud when we finally logged off late Friday night. Proud that we were writing important things, saying the things that needed to be said, asking questions other people wanted to be asked. I felt like for the first time in a long time, being in the news world wasn't a bad thing (although I see the cable news channels have gone back to their annoying selves with alarming alacrity). I wasn't easing anyone's suffering, but I was participating in getting information out, and that felt really good.

But it's turned into a much harder weekend than that -- Rehnquist died, of course, so that meant working today. I got some time to go to my writing group, which was good, but it's been a working weekend after a long, hard week, and then I have more coming tomorrow when I could be kicking back. Somehow, talking about Rehnquist just doesn't feel as imperative or important to me as the aftermath of Katrina.

So I've contented myself with working up a fic idea for Numb3rs that makes me feel a little odd. They repeated the episode Manhunt (I always go to Mag 7 on that title of course) Friday night, and I've been watching it over and over. Because I think... okay, in a fandom where incest is de rigeur, this is an odd thing to worry about... but I think that Don Eppes and Billy Cooper are teh SEX together and goddamn, I want to write a little ep-centric fic set in the midpoint of the episode. Even though I don't think Coop's actor is that attractive (and that annoying orange filter they use does his ginger coloring no favors) in most respects, the guy is just really... sexy. He has a quality. I do not know how to put my finger on it but there's something about his taciturn snark and the way he calls Eppes "Donnie" and the way he talks about Don and the way he looks at Don, and his arms and his ass in the khaki trousers, and the way Don looks at him and shows more emotion than normal, and they are so adorable in their complete clamness with each other that I can just imagine the most incredible fireworks. And have been imagining them since late Friday night. I swear it's gotten me through the past few days.

But it feels odd to write a fic that's set in a single ep with a character who probably will never come back (more's the pity, dammit). Since it's all about Charlie and Don, and I can tell right now there's way more interest in wee ickle Charlie than in uberclam Don, and a fic without a lot of Charlie would be howling into the abyss, I don't know if there's any audience beyond me, but I must write it. Because... Don was created for me. Though I adore Charlie (and Alan, and everyone else), Don was made for me -- he is every single kink I have except tallness put into a tight-lipped clam package. sherrold said the other night that Don is truly unique in the fannish BSO world: he's a complete adult. And he is, and that is a huge kink for me. Men who behave like true adults are rare on fannish type shows, and Don just shines in that regard -- this guy who gave up his life to take care of his mom because his brother couldn't, who is always trying to do the right thing, who doesn't talk about himself or complain, he just does the work. He's loving and loyal and strong and stalwart and mature and snarky and smart. He's a grownup. And I adore him. Plus, he knows how to handle a gun, and that is just... for me, the ultimate kink is a guy who knows his weapons and looks like he uses them every day. And Coop is not much different than Don, and so I think that rather than clam must not touch clam (only old-time fans will probably get that), it's like 1 clam + 1 clam=emotoclamsplosion!

I have also begun the Deadwood vid, though it will take a while since Jo and I are only able to get together once a week, and will soon begin capturing clips for a remaster of There's No Way Out of Here. And Ciudad part 7 will be up in a day or two. So there are things I try to take my mind off the work with, but I'm just so tired... my brain hurts, my heart hurts. Reading and writing about this constantly, day in and day out, is beyond draining. But I have running water, I have a toilet that works, I have food, I have a car with some gas in it, and I have a roof over my head. I have time enough to daydream about hot FBI agents. And that's something that a lot of people do not have right now.

Comments

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

a -- you *must* write this story
b -- Coop, a clam? I so don't think so! He's a barely banked fire, just waiting to explode again!
c -- you must write this story! I don't care if the fandom is all about Charlie -- there are definitely Don fans who you'd be making *very* happy indeed.

d -- man, you have had the work weekend!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I think Coop's definitely a clam, though not necessarily the same kind of clam that Don is. I have to go find Dorinda's clam scale so I can identify which kind. But I like him as a banked fire, too. ;-)

Well, I started on this, but I'm afraid it'll just be pr0n, and we all know I don't write that very well. I feel lost without a story. And sex embarasses me! Aiiieee.

I will need a beta reader. Do you want to?

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

I would be thrilled to! Ooh, me, me!

[incredulity.livejournal.com]

So I was just cruising the friendsfriends list when I saw the magic words... but I think that Don Eppes and Billy Cooper are teh SEX together and goddamn, I want to write a little ep-centric fic set in the midpoint of the episode. and my little heart went BOOM!

I totally agree re:Don and Coop and I for one, would absolutely *adore* any Don/Coop fic. There's so much potential for backstory fic too...

I've actually been a Max Martini fan for a number of years and was pleased as punch to see him on Numb3rs. I'd love for a reappearance.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

hey!

Well, I've started on the fic, but it's kind of weird, because I think it's basically going to be pr0n and that's not something I'm teerific at -- I am totally freaked out by writing sex scenes, but there isn't a lot to this than that! But I like the idea of backstory fic. Now if I could just remember the name of Don's fiancee...

I know I've seen Max Martini before, but I never really paid attention as he's not the usuall type for me. But whatever they did with this role, they totally tapped into his sexiness and manliness in a way that made me sit up and take notice. Yowza!

[incredulity.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you'll do a fine job! Looking forward to seeing the finished product.

Max was on a Canadian show I used to watch (DaVInci's Inquest). He wasn't a main character, but he guested a few times. He was also in Harsh Realm. But he was definitely hot like fire on Numb3rs. I think it had to do with holsters and chemistry. ;)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Aha!! Da Vinci's Inquest. No wonder -- plus, it sounds like he's been in all the filmed in Canada shows I watch, so that also makes sense why he's so familiar.

Yes, holsters, guns, protective gear, flak vests... they do really have a way of making a man exponentially sexier.

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

BTW, I meant to say, this is the greatest icon ever. I like imaginary men best of all, too!

[incredulity.livejournal.com]

Thanks! They're so much less *hassle*.

*g*

[barkley.livejournal.com]

What a work week you must have had, not only from the hours standpoint, but the emotional aspect of being constantly surrounded by it like you mentioned before.

+++

You must, must, must write this story. I am all about the Don. And I've discovered through the effort of trying that incest just isn't my boat. So I forsee a severe lack of slash stories for me. But I finished watched yesterday and from the second Cooper showed up my mind went to the slashy space. The looks, the hugs, the "looking good" the "come stay in L.A.!" The enticements to the good old days. It was totally there. And, yeah, as you said, he's probably just a one shot character, but he was obviously someone important and other pairings in the fannish world have been built on less. *g*

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It's been such a hard week, and I think next week will be harder still. And I have a speaking gig as well, which always makes me nervous for days beforehand. But it's not as bad as losing your home, so...

I keep watching Manhunt over and over... I just cannot get enough of them. I'm so depressed about there never being more, most likely (must remember to write CBS and beg for a return appearance), but I love what's there. And it takes place over a lot of days, that much is clear, so there's a lot of room for between the scenes stuff.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Okay, what? Clamness? 'Splain please.

I'm rapidly approaching the point where I just drag people into my home and make them start watching vids so they know what I'm talking about when I say, "Oh, I first heard that song on a vid..." It boggles that people don't know what a vid is, outside of fandom. This must be rectified.

Should I be medicated, or let loose on the greater population?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I'll have to see if i can dig up Dorinda's original clam essay. She came up with a theory of clamness and then last year at Escapade there was a panel on clams and curmudgeons which was a hoot. It has to do with how closed off and clamped down a guy is.

Well, vids are often responsible for pimping a lot of shows, so why not explaining all of fandom?!

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

I'll have to see if i can dig up Dorinda's original clam essay.

I'd love to read it, if you can find it. Yay for expanding my fannish vocabulary!

Well, vids are often responsible for pimping a lot of shows, so why not explaining all of fandom?!

I think I'd lose a lot of friends if I tried playing them stuff like Killa's "Blue on Black" or Morgan Dawn's due South vids and just started yelping "WOOBIE!" at random moments. 'Cause, I mean, then I'd have to explain what a woobie is, and then I might have to explain slash, and then people would start creeping away in fear.

However, I did force my dad to watch some selections off the VVC disks tonight, and he LOVED what he saw. He thinks vidding is great. Too bad I still couldn't explain in-jokes like the "Oh noes!" on the llama intro....or the llama intro itself, for that matter.

[quitesparkly.livejournal.com]

Agree with what you said about Don. When the whole fandom is crazy about how adorable and pretty Charlie is, I just think that Don's maturity is so damn sexy.

Oh and you should write that Coop/Don fic:D

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

Charlie is adorable and pretty, but I must admit, that often isn't enough for me. Nor is being damaged, though damaged is pretty high on my list of things to love. I like Don's kind of damage better, I think, in that he doesn't show it, and he works through it without necessarily dealing with it. I've always had a thing about pairings where the partners are equals, and I think that's where I get stumped in this fandom -- no one is Charlie's intellectual equal except Larry (and I cannot go there), and no one else is Don's equal in the strength and silent suffering dept. Coop is the only one who seems to be.

[umbo.livejournal.com]

You know, there *are* those of us out there who would *love* to see fic pairing Don with someone other than Charlie, who are very into Don, who saw the episode you're talking about and thought it was full of slashy goodness, who are *very* squicked by the incest. Just so you know. :-)

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

It's funny -- until now, I've always had a brother incest squick and father-daughter squick, but not mother/son and sister/brother. I find this incredibly peculiar and kind of disturbing that my mind works this way. But I'm not too squicked about the incest theme as I am just not convinced of its believability here. I'm willing to be persuaded... but damn, it's Cooper who's won my heart. Him and Don together... ay carumba!

[keiko-kirin.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, if you write this, I am first in line with bells on! I can't say other than that, because you excellently summed up the "why" for Don/Coop in your post -- here's me nodding and going, "Oh yay, so it wasn't just me!" Then barkley said everything else I was gonna say.

I'd be so happy! Numb3rs slash! With no incest! Weeee!

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

You know how 'noidal I am, and now that I've jinxed myself by talking about writing something before I've written it, I'm convinced everyone will hate it because it doesn't meet their expectations/hopes/beliefs about how the characters should sound. I'm only at the first sex scene and I'm already convinced I shouldn't finish it because people will be disappointed or tell me it isn't how they think Don or Coop should sound.

Aiiieeee!!!!

[logovo.livejournal.com]

Since it's all about Charlie and Don, and I can tell right now there's way more interest in wee ickle Charlie than in uberclam Don, and a fic without a lot of Charlie would be howling into the abyss

Um. No. Again? NO. There is a small, yes, but quite vocal bunch of people who love Don/Coop and quite a bigger contingent who will are very interested in anything with Don in it.

Maybe I could beg for this story? Offer a bribe of some kind?

[gwyn-r.livejournal.com]

I hope so! My latest fandom has been really discouraging lately, and I definitely thrive on fandoms where there are at least a few people around to share my interests with. I'm really glad to see that so many people have embraced Don at least a little -- it's always been a case where the sensitive or intellectual guy gets all the fannish love, and the clam-like, "strong" guy gets scorned. I've really run away from that in fandom... I want to have a nice place to play where everyone likes everyone!

[logovo1.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, now you are making me take stock of previous fandoms. Scully, Duncan, Jim, Sheppard . . . Well, hmmm again.

From this corner of fandom I have to tell you that a lot of us find Don *Teh Hawt* - - And you have a lot of us who remember him as Joel in NE and are delighted and a bit giggly at seeing him play the badass fed now.